Censored Poem

The lyrics to this poem have been censored

Due to content unbefitting a poem,

Or anything else for that matter.

For not only did they compare a woman’s breasts

To a jar of olives,

But they juxtaposed an autumn sunset

With a bull being castrated in a Swedish river.

They were devoid of any discernible meter

And repeatedly alluded, not to Homer,

But to the live-action version of Scooby-Doo.

The lyrics cried out for truth,

But then apologized, and then spent several stanzas

Complaining about a persistent rash.

Indeed, the poem managed to offend and belittle

Every nation, race, religion and hairstyle,

In what seemed to be an unsuccessful attempt

At heroic couplets, which appeared only after a

A confusedly erotic reflection on Gertrude Stein’s blazer.

This poem is censored because it succumbs to every cliché

And compares heartbreak with a tennis ball covered with olive oil.

This poem is censored because it contributes nothing to anything.

This poem is censored because of its awkward use of anaphora.

And for its clear lack of

Inspiration, or even an effort for ambiguous purpose.

It is this publication’s express hope that

No soul ever be subjected this poem’s obliviousness, narcissism, incoherence, plagiarism, desperation, repetition, or

Its relentless promotion of Arby’s new Hawaiian Roast Beef Sandwich.

Or, perhaps most importantly, the poet’s fundamental lack of understanding of what it is to truly be alive.

Originally published in Lumen Literary Magazine, Spring 2015

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