Today I turned 30 years old. Wow!
Last year, I interacted on the dating app Grindr with someone who said that “30 is the gay death”. Overwhelmingly, people close to my age and younger associate turning thirty with like becoming a leper in Biblical times or something. It is something to dread and scorn because youth is to be prized and cherished. Around my 28th birthday, I started to think similarly because it felt like so much was going wrong. However, I have come to reject this way of thinking.
First of all, there’s no freezing time or turning the clock back. You either get older or die. Those are the only two options. You can’t remain in your 20s forever. And honestly, my 20s have had so many ups and downs, I’d rather not! Also, having lost a cousin who was just shy of 25 to suicide and having dealt with such struggles myself, I’ve come to appreciate every extra year on this Earth.
Nonetheless, it would be good to reflect on my 20s as I wave my goodbyes to them. As I like to say with everything, this is not exhaustive!
My 20s were a difficult decade with A LOT of change. They began with major political shifting.
- At 20, I moved to the political Left following a 5 month period where I felt possessed by “Anarcho-Capitalism”. I also came out gay later that same year, entered my first ever relationship, gave up on Roman Catholicism, and started looking into attending services at the Ecumenical Catholic Communion and U.S. Episcopal Church.
- At 21, I experienced a very bad car accident. I was also “received” as a member into the U.S. Episcopal Church (I’m still technically a member today).
- At 22, I became a non-believer, thanks largely to watching Matt Dillahunty and rethinking on the issues on my own.
- At 23, I graduated with a 4.0 GPA with my Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology and ended my 2.5 year long relationship.
- At 24, I had my first existential crisis around my life dissatisfaction at the time and concerns about my future. I also developed what has been a lovely and enriching friendship with Dr. Chris Matthew Sciabarra.
- At 25, I began a Master of Science degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.
- At 26, I experienced a global pandemic and massive political & social turmoil, almost dropping out of my Master’s program.
- At 27, I graduated with a 4.0 GPA with my Master’s degree and soon began practice as a professional psychotherapist after moving to Austin, TX.
- At 28, I experienced an existential crisis and decided to give up on a career that was just barely getting off the ground. I moved back home despite saying I didn’t want to. And I flew an airplane for the first time!
- At 29, the existential crisis came roaring back when my plan fell through, I experimented with Ketamine therapy (which was a nightmare), all the while trying to face my fears and create a robust future.
Throughout all of that time, I went on many lovely trips, met up with A LOT of people and had a lot of conversations, struggled with anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation here and there, experienced sexual assaults and friendships ending, and dealt with struggles with the ones I love. I also (at 29) finally got a Septoplasty and am overall happy with how it turned out.
In fact, 29 was the most major year for health exploration ever (including a Rheumatoid Arthritis health scare). So much addressed! I recently finally found a physical therapist who understands my problems in a thorough and in-depth manner. He blows EVERY other professional (Orthopedic doctor/surgeon, physical therapist, chiropractor, sports medicine specialist, etc.) that I have seen out of the water! He even said “all of them would not be capable of addressing the problems you have”. I’m looking forward to feeling better after a decade+ of struggle (upper and low back pain/discomfort, right S.I. joint pain, right knee issues, and overall walking issues & discombobulation).
Furthermore, on May 10th of this year, I got accepted into a 1-year community college LVN program and will start on August 19th. I’m also building my own Life Coaching business and have exciting plans to move to California in Fall 2025! I also have plans to write many more articles and to interview various people. A lot on the horizon!
Overall, I’m excited to move into my 30s. I am moving into them with greater wisdom, greater preparation, and increased clarity in what I want out of my life and where I want to live. That latter piece can be a game changer because being stuck where you are not happy affects everything else. I can tell you one thing, I’ll be skiing at Lake Tahoe like NOBODY’S BUSINESS! Haha
Here’s to a new decade! Welcome to your 30s, Mr. Neugebauer.
