Love is overrated

Each person has their own story with love. There are people who are quick to express their love to the other. There are people who believe it takes a whole lot of commitment, knowing each other, going through experiences with the other to be able to state that they actually feel love. And there are people who got into a relationship so quickly they didn’t get the time to analyze what they felt.

Now putting 3 people, each from each type in a room and have them talk about love is a scene. I’ve been fortunate enough to meet people with different opinions about love. It is in fact an exciting topic to talk about. After all, industries are built on love. People are working because of love. Books, movies, songs are made about love. People fight the world for their loved ones. It is definitely a topic worth discussing.

My intake on this is very simple. Love is one thing; attachment, passion and affection are other things. When defining them clearly, I guarantee that you’ll agree with me.

If you had your definition of love right, then how come you don’t think about your parents as frequently as you think of your lover? How come you don’t put as much effort into making your siblings happy as you do your partner? How come you put your work or your passion before any other person?

I have been told before that the answer to these questions is that we don’t really love those people. But it didn’t make sense to me. No one in the world can convince me that I don’t love God or my parents. But yet, after deep reflection and observation, I’ve come to the conclusion that we do love, but what we feel isn’t always love. We tend to mix love with any feeling that resembles affection, appreciation, attachment, passion, lust, need…etc.

Yes I do love my partner, I love my family and my friends, I love God. But I’m attached to my lover. I have spent with that person moments that made me emotionally linked to them, and that is the reason I’m hurt when we’re separated. I have a huge feeling of gratitude and appreciation for my parents. They have made me who I am. They were role models for me, that is why losing them isn’t the same as a break-up but is painful in its own different way. My relationship with God involves submission, maybe fear. I am a follower of God that is why when I sin, I feel remorse. I feel a constant sting of regret that is there all the time in the back of my mind. I am aware of this divine existence constantly there with me in my life.

The various experiences of love, but different reactions prove that it is not only love that we feel. That love is overused and overrated. In different religions, prophets have held unconditional love for their people. They have loved people whether they were allies or enemies. They treated people well out of love, because that’s what love is. Love is selfless, love is unconditional. Love is pure. When you love a person that’s it: You love the person.

Look at love as an essential ingredient. When you mix it with affection, lust and attachment, we’re talking about love towards your partner. You feel lost when they aren’t there: you’re attached. When you add spirituality to love, it’s generally religion or higher beliefs. You’re a follower, a believer. If you add passion, it’s your job or your hobby… etc.

Love is a common denominator. But it isn’t what people throw everywhere. Love is common yet rare. You feel it towards a lot of people yet you shouldn’t rush to express it because it’s probably not the emotion you’re feeling at the moment.


Thank you for reading.