Share your story, it matters.

(Click play above to listen instead)
I actually really struggle with comparison. I consider myself an artist, and I’m often exposing myself, putting my work out into the public sphere. When posting an image of my work, right before clicking publish / post I have this icy gut feeling that I’m going to be rejected, ridiculed or in some form embarrassed by my work. This worst case scenario mindset has rarely happened to me, and when it has, it has happened so insignificantly that no one seemed to notice. After posting my work, and checking my page every couple minutes for updates, my heart drops with disappointment. What I think will get great attention and put me in the spotlight soon is just another piece of white noise in the commotion of everyday life. Maybe it’s not me, but that there is so much content to sift through that my work may just get looked over quickly without much thought? Maybe I’m just a stone that hasn’t been turned over yet, and one day I’ll be discovered and greatly admired for all the work I’ve currently put out there. Maybe, or maybe I could be continually pushing against this boulder that is my struggle to make something of myself, only to see that the boulder hasn’t gone anywhere.
I work as a photographer, for a university department. I’ve wanted to be a professional photographer for some time, and this job I’ve had for a while. I don’t think very highly of it, and that is a topic I don’t wish to bring up right now. Event photography isn’t something I want to do for the rest of my life, but it’s a step towards learning how to be something I’m not. This 2017 summer I was doing an event that hosted Elementary teachers, librarians, potential upcoming authors and some mothers (anyone who loves children’s books). The conference brings in authors and illustrators that have been successful and they speak out to these potential authors, teachers and librarians about their process, and their means to writing. As an artist, this is a feast of knowledge for me, because although the medium isn’t the same, the principles are. I get to learn from professional authors who have already done the struggle and already hit their grind. The one thing that I remembered multiple authors repeatedly drilling into the audience was this: Your story matters. What you have to say is important. You might think you’re not important, and your view might not be that impressive, but it is. You’re wrong if you think you don’t matter. Your experiences matter, and they’re worth sharing.
While the boulder may not actually move at all, I will have become stronger for trying. My muscles will have been torn, and rebuilt stronger than before. My trust in myself and confidence will have grown that I know how to try and to fail, and to try and to eventually not fail. Although the boulder may not actually move, change will occur by my trying.

That’s why I’m sharing this with you. I matter, and despite what may seem as an insignificant reception of myself to the world, I know I’m heard, and I know I’m contributing goodness to society.
Share your story, it matters.
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