“Personal voice: A satire of Cricket”
My post for #TheCollegeEssayImMostProudOf
[Note: I wrote this during my second semester, Freshman year at the University of Michigan in my English 125 class in 2010. Did not edit this to preserve its integrity.]
No sport possesses the potential to overtake the American sporting landscape like cricket. The sport, which is highly popular in India, tests its athletes to the highest standards of athletic prowess while entertaining its fans for days on end. Baseball, known as America’s pastime, will soon be overshadowed in America by a game which has been played since the 16th century.
For the sake of Babe Ruth, even the royalty of England have been avid supporters of cricket. What will be the greatest import since the Beatles, cricket will push baseball aside and rightfully become the new powerhouse sport in America. With this in mind, education about the sport will cause an exponential growth in the popularity of cricket once Americans realize the inherent power and tradition embedded within the game.
Cricket attracts only the finest of athletes. There is no better way to capture athleticism and beauty than to hit a ball with a flattened bat and run from one base to another. Skeptics may claim that even the lackluster sport of baseball requires more athleticism than cricket, but they are failing to realize the grind that comes with sprinting to one base, back and forth, for five consecutive days. Further proving the durability of the cricketers is the fact that a very hard ball is used while gloves are not. The world-class athletes who play Cricket will satisfy fans by making incredible bare handed catches. Why would one want to watch LeBron James dunking a basketball while they can watch cricketers catch a ball which as hard as a diamond barehanded?
Furthermore, on a monetary level, television stations have already made millions of dollars on Cricket television contracts around the world. The American landscape will pour money into an American contract because companies will be able to advertise the same commercials for literally days on end. Speculation suggests that Geico will find yet another way to capitalize on the attentive American viewers, who will not be able to remove their eyes from the thrilling action of the match. Television ratings will be so high that, even at the minuscule hours of ten o’clock A.M. on a weekday, advertisers will be willing to pay significantly high amounts.
Perhaps the most appealing part of cricket to Americans will be the length of the matches. Most Cricket games, or “tests”, as they are known, last for five days. Why would one want to buy a ticket to a three hour baseball game when they could attend forty hours of heart pounding, adrenaline filled cricket action? In baseball, there are normally five different games in the span of five days; in cricket, however, there will only be one game in such a time span, with momentum building up to Super Bowl like heights during the process.
What’s more is that cricket represents an opportunity for growth in America. In India, the established sport has recognized athletes, announcers, teams, etc. A void needs to be filled in America to satisfy the demand for cricket that will take place. For one, John Madden will have another hard hitting sport to come back to. With Madden as a face for the broadcasts, many other announcers and even celebrities will catch on to the colossal and inevitable build in popularity.
Moreover, superstar players still need to emerge and teams need to be filled. The void of essential unemployment that exists currently can be filled by players who did not end up making it to the professional level in other sports. Clearly, playing the position “mid wicket” and living a lavish lifestyle of a professional player for the Detroit Cricketers would be much more appealing than sipping a beer after a game as benchwarmer for the Toledo Mud Hens, or another minor league baseball team.
Furthermore, at the ball park, everyone loves spending their entire day outside in the heat of summer for five consecutive days. The stadiums in America will offer breakfast, lunch, and dinner, a combination that baseball fans will never have the joy of experiencing. Some popcorn and hot dogs for breakfast never hurt anyone either. Along with the varied cuisine, the atmosphere in the cricket stadium, or “ground” as it is suspiciously known, is incredible. Fans ooze passion effervescently, cheering endlessly throughout the game. Imagine how incredible it would be to watch a wave rotate around Michigan Stadium each hour for forty hours? One has not lived until they have witnessed fans camping out inside the stadium during breaks in the action.
Because of the international roots behind the sport, Americans will openly embrace the traditions tied into the game. Children will be cutting their baseball bats in half and talking with Australian accents sooner than one can finish eating their fish and chips. The traditional, all white uniforms will implement a needed chivalrous demeanor into the athletes. “Bowling,” or the equivalent of pitching in baseball, will no longer be known as a game where pins are knocked down. Instead, it will be known as an honorable, important position on the cricket pitch. With so many traditions already established, Americans will have an easy time adopting the lingo and customs of the game, which will only foster its popularity.
All in all, there is significant potential for cricket to succeed in America. Differences between baseball and cricket will easily be put aside. Once the game is taught to more Americans, the transition from the already embedded game of baseball will be smooth and painless. Obviously, there will be no problem adjusting to the length of the matches and customs of cricket. For that, run out and get your wickets, because the fever will hit before you know it.
#theCollegeEssayImMostProudOf
(In part, as part of #Day12, #100DayOfBlogging)
