What My Grampa Taught Me

Ryan
Ryan
Aug 8, 2017 · 5 min read

Last night at 7:00pm, my grandfather, C.S. Cowles, passed away after a long battle with cancer. Since my wife broke the news to me, I have found myself not only mourning the loss of an incredible man and a loving grandfather, but celebrating a wise teacher and a captivating thinker who inspired me. In honor of Grampa Cowles, I would like to share a few lessons he taught me throughout my life that will continue to guide me in the future. Although there are innumerable things I could write about, I am going to follow in Grampa’s footsteps and use the Pastoral Threes to describe what I learned: 1. Christianity is about Christ, 2. Dissent is Essential, and 3. A Life Worth Living is a Life of Love.


Christianity Is About Christ

In his last few months, Grampa sent out a multitude of emails filled with documents of his college classes, sermons, book drafts, and devotional writings. You see, C.S. Cowles was a lifelong pastor and theologian, with a passion for Christ stretching from his youth, attending six services a day as a missionary kid in Hong Kong, to teaching online religion classes in his final year. Such a long career produced an enormous volume of writing, and with it some incredible insights into who the God Christians worship truly is. I have read as many of these writings as possible, and I want to share a short selection from a 2014 email compiling discussions between my Grampa and his students:

The author of Hebrews implies that there was a vast difference between the clarity of God’s revelation made known “long ago to the fathers in the prophets in many portions and in many ways,” and the revelation of His true character through “His Son” who “is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature” (Heb. 1:1–3). If Jesus is “the exact representation of God’s nature,” then we cannot help but conclude that the God revealed fully and finally in Jesus would rather die than drown anybody, would rather die than burn up little children, would rather die than destroy any human being no matter how sinful, would rather die than damn, and did!

A recurrent theme in Grampa Cowles’ theol0gy is the centrality of Christ to Christianity. This teaching has been both inspiring and life-giving to me in my own faith journey. I am, in many ways, not an orthodox Christian. I hold a lot of heterodox ideas, especially when compared to my evangelical background. In fact, I have struggled and doubted my faith many times over the past few years, flirting with agnosticism and atheism. Much of this comes down to theological and philosophical issues with the concept of God as taught to me by pastors, religion teachers, professors, and supposedly Christian leaders. However, I keep coming back to who my Grampa taught me God is: God is revealed perfectly in Jesus Christ, the Christ who calls us to care for the marginalized, serve others, and love unconditionally. My Grampa taught me that Christianity is about Christ, and in doing so restored and strengthened my faith. And I know his writings and memories of our conversations will continue to rejuvenate me in the years to come.


Dissent is Essential

My Grampa’s theological views got him into trouble in the past. Whether it was questioning dogmatic concepts of God or casting into doubt supposedly historical biblical events or standing up for colleagues with heterodox views, he was run out of theology departments and pushed out of churches. But Grampa didn’t waiver. Grampa Cowles taught me through these trials that dissent, principled dissent, is essential.

I don’t know enough specifics of these episodes off the top of my head to be able to tell y’all a detailed story. However, the steadfastness of my Grampa in his values and courage to be a challenging voice (a voice crying out in the wilderness at times), is a role I hope to live up to as I begin my career. It is so easy to go with the flow out of self-preservation and ambition. It is much harder to live a principled life, unafraid to be a dissenter when those principles meet barriers or even direct attacks. My Grampa did life the hard way, sometimes suffering in his career because of it. He could do this not only because he had such strong principles, but also because he had an amazing woman supporting him along the way (I love you Gramma!).

In one of the last conversations I had with my Grampa, he expressed his pride in my choice of profession and prayed over me that I would be a change agent in the world. I felt a mixture of humility and fear over this prayer, as I know the pitfalls that await those entering the legal profession. Ambition, pride, greed, and more are classic stumbling blocks for lawyers young and old. The law is in many ways an embodiment of the will of the powerful, and there is a strong temptation for those entering the legal field to become one of those power-brokers. But I carry the legacy of C.S. Cowles, and I hope and pray that Grampa is right: that I can help make a difference and be a voice of dissent when the will of the powerful stands in the way of my principles.


My grampa, C.S. Cowles, officiating my wedding.

A Life Worth Living is a Life of Love

Some of the greatest memories of my life are in the mountains of Colorado, Idaho, or Yosemite with the Cowles Clan. No matter where all of us are in life, family reunions have been a source of love and joy. This love always emanates from C.S. and Marge Cowles, the patriarch and matriarch of the Clan. My grandparents have been an incredible example of familial love, even through the hard times. Their example of family is how I hope my family now and in the future functions: a source of love and joy for everyone who comes into contact with us. I wanted my Grampa to officiate my wedding because he was both my spiritual mentor and relationship role model for much of my life. He taught me that a life filled with love towards family is a life of joy.

The lessons did not stop with family. C.S. Cowles was one of the friendliest and most loving persons towards strangers I have ever known. He truly lived out to the best of his ability Christ’s call to welcome the stranger in Matthew 25. It was impossible to go anywhere with Grampa without him offering a kind word, a prayer, or even entire conversations with those around him. He had a heart full of compassion and poured it out through his daily interactions with everyone, regardless of relationship or status. You could see faces lifted and spirits raised after a C.S. Conversation.

My Grampa lived a life worth living, not because of the lessons he taught me and others, but because he lived a life of love. I hope to carry on his legacy through compassion and love towards those around me and those strange to me. My Grampa taught me, in the words of my favorite musical, that to love another is to see the face of God. And to see the face of God is to live a life worth living.

Thank you for all you taught me Grampa. I’ll miss you, but I’ll see you again someday.

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