The Wonders of Art & Discovery
From someone who played sports for nearly her entire childhood, I found a home in an unlikely place in the world of art and music.
I have always wanted to be someone who had something.
That one thing that made them different.
Something that gave them that rush feeling, as if your heart was going to beat right out of your chest, yet at the same time you felt like you were doing exactly what you needed to do. You were exactly where you needed to be.
Writing has been something that has been part of my life from the very beginning. My fascination with poetry and reading started when I first learned how read when I was a little over a year old. I loved drawing and painting and found a way to express myself creatively and colorfully. I loved reading because I felt like I was traveling through those pages, even though i was still sitting in my living room next to my mom. I was interested in learning about new stories and new books and new information. I almost had a need for absorbing art and knowledge because my curiosity was a large factor of my personality.
Funny enough, I was told by my grandfather before his passing that my connection with music began when I was only a few weeks old. The only way I could ever get the best night sleep was if someone sang me to sleep, and that was prominent until I was about four years old. I needed to hear a song or someone’s voice for me to go to sleep quicker, and soon those nighttime lullabies translated into learning experiences that would end up sticking with me for my entire life (so far). My grandpa told me that besides that factor, when I was learning how to walk, he would play music from his old 1940s radio that he had, but that my mom never wanted him to play it because she worried the noise would hurt my ears. when he shut it off one day while my mom and I were visiting, I had picked myself up and walked over to the radio and pressed any button my fingers could reach, almost as if I wanted to put the music back on. I needed to hear that music.
I think that’s where it all began.
I participated in musical numbers in both my nursery school and my church. I loved ensembles and choir practices and learning new numbers because I found the thrill of being onstage both fun and rewarding, even at a young age. I was terrified of being in front of people by myself, but when an entire cast was involved, I felt incredibly comfortable. Acting became a huge part of my young life, and music only went up the list as I got older. I began writing my own music when I was 9 years old, and while nearly all of my earliest dated songs are silly basic rhymes and odd scenarios, they were still a foundation of the songs and poetry I would write in my teen years. I grew, and with that, so did my writing.
I had been told by a member of my church family that my voice was one to save for something big. My fathers voice in church was always admired, and rightfully so, it was one of the very few good qualities about him. My nana had also sung in the church for over 50 years, and her voice was said to have been incredible when she was in her teen years. I was informed to drink more water and practice practice practice, and to not waste my voice, it was very important. Back then when I was 11, I didn’t know what they meant when they said to “save it for something big”. It wasn’t only until about a year ago that that statement took full swing at me.
Now first off, I’m not saying I’m the greatest singer. I’m no Broadway performer or rock n roller, but that doesn’t mean I'm not getting better as time goes on. For someone who didn’t begin formal lessons until a year ago, I’d say my voice was pretty good; it could hold more than just a few notes. I love singing, and while I do get frazzled on stage still a tiny bit, I can’t imagine myself doing anything else. There is still much for me to learn, and I’ve got a long way to go, but I still have that feeling that I’m doing exactly what I’m meant to do right now.
Maybe this is my something.
Being involved in the world of the arts: painting, fine arts, acting, music, creative writing, etc, has opened my eyes to a more colorful and passionate world where creativity can help express your deepest feelings and emotions in ways speaking cannot. Art has become a humongous part of my life, and anyone who is involved in the arts of some sort will tell you that without passion and creativity, they are barely anything. The teachers teach us about life, the workers work to make their lives and the artists create a new outlook on life. In art, there is a place for the ones with innovative minds and restless hearts. There’s a place for everyone in art.
There has also been this dream in the minds of artists in regards to being somebody’s muse. Art is also about musing; you draw from inspiration that you can find anywhere, on the streets of your hometown or a strangers face that passes you on the subway. Sometimes we find inspiration in the most unlikely of places and situations. Through music, some of the best songs were created from a place of pain/heartache, or from a place of pure happiness and bliss- either way those melodies were inspired by someone. Photography helps capture the real picture of what it is that we are inspired by, or enthralled with. The muse of the model, the creativity of the photographer and the skills worked in by the camera, they all blend together to create a finished work. Art is taken straight from inspiration, from the art in pictures and murals and museums, but also from the art of nature, animals and most importantly, people. How wonderful a feeling to be somebody’s muse.
Through writing and poetry and singing, I base my foundation upon feelings, fears and faults. I take what I feel the most angry or unsure about and my pen begins moving. I take people and situations from my environment and entwine them in my writings in the least obvious way. Sometimes the point of being somebody’s muse is to not know you are even a muse, that makes for a great mystery. It’s a lovely thought.
It took me sometime to collect all my thoughts about music/singing and performing over the years, but I realized that i couldn’t do anything else. Instead of just writing, why not just do it? What’s the worst that can happen? I did, and I will do again. I belong in the world of the arts. My hands are meant to write poetry. My words are meant for not just speaking, but singing.
This is exactly where my soul is meant to flourish.
Instead of longing to be someone else’s muse, maybe i can become my own. Maybe I already have.