Honest Cigarette Advertising

Ryan Overhiser
Jun 13, 2016 · 1 min read

Enjoy a smooth cigarette tonight. No hangover tomorrow — just imminent death!

For a smooth, menthol taste, choose Newport. Great for the heart!

Even Lebron James smokes Camels!

I tell my 9-year-old son, “Reach for a Lucky Strike!”

Cancer, Schmancer! Light up an Old Gold!

Parliament Lights keep my smile pearly white!

People who matter smoke Marlboro!

Studies show it’s not as dangerous as second hand smoke!

Even the Pope smokes Parliaments!

Cigarettes don’t kill people, second hand smoke kills people!

Makes my hair smell like a motel carpet!

Even my pulmonologist is a Marlboro man!

I love a nice cigarette break in sub-zero winter temperatures!

Lungs? Who needs ‘em!

What’s your definition of “toxic”?

Even Barack Obama smokes Old Golds!

Define “deadly”.

Totally not addictive at all, like not even a little bit.

Everything you’ve heard about us is a lie.

The only side effect is increased coolness!

Phlegmy coughs are all the rage!

Ryan Overhiser

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Much more drab IRL.