More Beautiful For Having Been Broken (2019)
Dir. Nicole Conn | A Film Review
SYNOPSIS: “A female FBI agent befriends a woman and her adorable, young, special needs son who live in the countryside. The women’s friendship soon turns into romance but family secrets complicate things.”
Dir. Nicole Conn | Writer: Nicole Conn | Starring: Zoe Ventoura, Kayla Radomski, Cale Ferrin
“Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”
Released in 2019, More Beautiful for Having Been Broken (title also known by the term “kintsugi” or “kintsukuroi”, a beautiful Japanese tradition of mending and repairing objects with gold) was filmed in picturesque Northern California with cinematography expertise by Seth Wessel-Estes, story and direction by Nicole Conn and original music by Nami Melumad.
The story is a semi-autobiographical tale by director Nicole Conn which pays homage to her son Nicholas, who is special needs and a very big part of what drives her passion for storytelling.
After a death in the family, FBI Agent McKenzie De Ridder (portrayed fabulously by the steely-gazed Zoë Ventoura) finds herself on mandatory leave from the Bureau and headed towards a distant memory somewhere near what’s called “Lake Mervielle”.
She soon meets young Freddie, played by Cale Ferrin and the two begin to bond over the first half of the film (much to McKenzie’s chagrin, whom Freddie also refers to affectionately as “Macks”.)
Supporting cast includes Bruce Davison, French Stewart, Harley Jane Kozak, Brooke Elliot, Kay Lenz, Gabrielle Christian and even director Nicole Conn’s own daughter Gabrielle Baba-Conn as the youngest daughter of the Pinchot family. The Pinchot family being the owners of the Pine Mountain Inn, where McKenzie has booked a room for her time away from work. McKenzie, try as she might, seeks a reprieve from the chaos in her mind with solitude amongst the rolling hills, lakes and walking trails, but plucky Freddie has other ideas for her. “Macks” soon finds herself on fishing trips and days spent with Freddie and the people who care for him while his mother teaches dance. In the film, Freddie is diagnosed with a rare and debilitating disease that hinders his every day life, but does not stop him from experiencing said life in all its riches, big and small, as often as possible. He is often referred to as “Little Man”, another nod to Nicole Conn’s son Nicholas.
“None of us are remotely capable of experiencing the world we live in. We’ve created two and three dimensional boundaries just to try and make sense of things, but what lives in side the spaces of those boundaries?”
Freddie’s mother, a dance teacher named Samantha played by Kayla Radomski, takes a bit longer to warm up to the new woman in town who has stolen the heart of her son so effortlessly. What was off to a rocky start, slowly forms into a friendship and then something more once Macks and Sam start spending more time together at the fervent insistence of “Little Man” Freddie.
“It’s one thing to date a single mom. Quite another when you add a wheelchair to the mix… doctor’s visits, test results, therapy. Maybe you finally fit in that tennis game and I’m blowing up your phone all day with texts from the ER. You know, forget anyone else’s needs getting met because my priority is the Freddie channel 24/7. Don’t I sound like a perfect catch?”
“I don’t play tennis.”
Further into the film the viewer will learn that one of McKenzie’s past experiences has ultimately planted her firmly in the middle of a family dynamic steeped in recovering traumas and betrayals. The many flashbacks laced throughout can set the overall pace of the film a bit off-kilter, but not enough to where it can take you out of the story. These bits of foreshadowing are all a part of a larger tapestry woven together toward the end of the film and will have viewers realizing who exactly was where, when, and why.
It’s a film worth watching multiple times because of this aspect. Not only does it tell a story of romance, but there’s a bit of mystery with themes of small-town dynamics, family dynamics and what it is to care for special needs children.
More Beautiful for Having Been Broken has claimed the number one spot on my list of beautifully shot films, so much so that no other in nearly three years has even come close. Gather in the landscapes, the film score heavy with cello music, and two dance interludes filmed in front of backdrops made with deep hues of blue and red to accentuate emotions such as sadness, longing, pensiveness or mournfulness… the film is stunning all around. MBFHBB is always one of the first titles I recommend to anyone looking to watch an inspiring sapphic romance. I highly suggest watching the Director’s Cut which is currently available for rental on Prime Video. Just trust me on this.
Commonly referred to as “More Beautiful“, is the first of three Nicole Conn films I plan to review in the near future. Stay tuned for the next review in a few weeks time- be sure to follow Fleet of Fandoms on social media for updates. Love a queer film or series and want to share it with us? We’d love to see it and give it a review! Send an email to us and we’ll get to work.
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