The evolution of an atheist

Background

For a bit of background so you know where I’m coming from — as I know not everyone has the same experience.

I was born in the US to a middle to upper middle class family that were/are Christians.

Growing up, we went to a Methodist church once a month and for the big holidays like Easter and Christmas.

I was taught to say prayers before bed (Now I lay me down to sleep…).

And that’s about the extent of religion in my childhood. There was no – WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) stuff in the house, or – God is watching you. Religion was not “interwoven” in our lives – it was just something we did one Sunday a month and right before going to bed.

And, of course, we tried to live good, meaningful, “Christian” lives so that we could all go to Heaven.

Whether or not you believe this constitutes being a Christian or not – is not up for debate. That is not the point of this section – I will ask for your opinion on another section towards the end of this post.

When it started

I can remember the day that I thought to myself – “you know what, I don’t think this whole religion thing makes any sense.”

It was in my eight grade Spanish class – and the surprising thing – I wasn’t struck by lightning!

For reference, I’m 29 years old now – maybe 14? in eight grade – so for 15 years, I have put a lot of thought into this whole religion concept and I hope to be able to adequately describe the path I have gone down.

The “things don’t line up” phase

Way back while sitting in that Spanish class – the main premise behind denouncing religion (note: I will use religion/Christianity interchangeably – I am well aware there are many religions) – was that the Bible never mentioned dinosaurs.

How the heck, could this “all knowing book” that talked about the beginning of the earth, fail to mention dinosaurs and everything leading up to mankind?

This made no sense to me.

I had other issues with the book – like the story of the creation of earth and Adam and Eve. Humans did not exist on earth – right off the bat. And again — the story did not line up with the dinosaurs…where the heck are the dinosaurs?!

Noah’s ark – I had trouble with. Where did all this extra water come from? Maybe Global Warming melted the icecaps and flooded the earth. But, then – why would God kill everyone – and then start over? Made no sense to me.

Also, no mentions of the universe or space (except for the star over Bethlehem). I could not understand why these topics were not mentioned – did God not make the universe?

And ultimately, the book (which is a collection of writings) was written anywhere from 3,500 BC to approximately 95 AD (according to the Internet).

Basically, it was written by a bunch of men with very rudimentary scientific and technological advances. So, their stories may have passed the BS meter way back when, but now we know better.

The “angry” phase

The next phase I went through is what I call “The angry phase.”

I was pretty much angry with all Christians.

These people, who “believed and worshiped God and did no wrong” — would judge everyone.

They would judge my family since we only went to church once a month – so we weren’t “real” Christians.

They would judge activities we were doing, parenting methods, everything. But, then preach – that only God can judge us.

Instead of feeling welcome at church – I felt belittled.

This angered me so much.

There was so much contradiction between what they preached than their actual acts. They would preach to love one another, and then go talk about what Sally wore to church and how that was not appropriate to wear or that Betty-Sue and her husband were having marital problems – and that’s not the Christian thing to do.

During this phase I saw all Christians as giant hypocrites.

The “globally angry” phase

During the previous phase – my anger was aimed more towards Christians as individuals and how hypocritical they were.

This next phase transitioned my anger into religions as a whole.

The main issue — religion causes war.

So much blood spilled over something that doesn’t really exist – except that humans made it exist.

Of course I know that many people use religion to influence others in order to seize power.

And that there will probably be war no matter what – religion just happens to be a fantastic engine for motivation.

But, if that engine wasn’t there – could we live without war? I don’t know – that’s a whole other topic for discussion.

The main take-away within this phase was that religion caused more harm than good on a global scale.

The “I need to understand religion” phase

With the conclusion of the last phase and the whole deal with people willing to die for their religion – I realized it might be a good time to try and understand people’s religions – so I could understand where people were coming from and try and understand their mindset.

I proceeded to try and read the Bible and the Quran from cover to cover. I read good portions of each, but as for cover to cover – it just took too much effort and since I’m not pro religion I was not motivated enough to trudge through – I was just seeking to understand.

I did, however, read about 15 other books on all of the major religions — everything from overall summaries to people’s opinions, facts, and research.

Ultimately, I have put more thought and effort into understanding religion than most of the “religious” friends and family that I have.

The “I need my own beliefs” phase

This was when I decided I needed to develop my own set of beliefs beyond the common morals of mankind. Obviously, no matter what – killing, stealing, raping, etc – is not acceptable.

But as far as “religious” beliefs – I needed my own firm ground to stand upon.

Please note that I have not left this phase – it’s an ever evolving, ever changing, ever growing structure – that maybe, someday, I will be able to completely share with people.

In the end – I want the world to be a better place and I think the time of the “religious structure” is coming to a close, and another belief system needs to take its place.

Will I be the one to develop it? Who knows – but, I believe a huge change is coming.

I’m sorry – I got a little off topic. The main point of this phase is that – I realized that religion was not for me, but – that I still needed a belief system in place – so I began to develop my own.

The “acceptance” phase

I have now come to the point in my spiritual/religious journey where I have been able to accept that religion is not for me.

I have been able to accept the hypocritical Christians to the radical Muslims.

I am no longer angry.

I have been able to accept that there are a large number of religions out there with all kinds of belief systems – yet, none are for me.

I have been able to accept the fact that I need to develop my own beliefs.

And I am happy.

Crossroads?

This leads to my question for you – the reader.

I have come to accept everything.

I can confirm that I am an atheist.

The issue now is that my wife does not accept and my parents do not know.

My wife’s ignorance is bliss.

My parent’s not knowing – keeps them happy.

If I know – deep down in my core – and am happy…

Should I “trouble” my wife by ensuring she understands me?

Should I “trouble” my parents by telling them I am an atheist?

I want your opinion.