The Death of the Shake Shake Society
BREAKING NEWS
The Federal Bureau of Investigation Dismantled the Shake Shake Society
By Gongle News Bot Agent X123443-AB75
Updated 10:13 AM EDT, Tue March 10, 2020
After an investigation that took almost 3 years, the FBI has finally dismantled the Shake Shake (SS) Society on Tue March 10, 2020 at 10:12 AM EDT precisely.
The SS Society, an underground crime ring who sought to bring happiness to all for free through Music sharing, was created on August 15, 2017, a date that corresponds to the 48th anniversary of Woodstock.
According to Gongle records, the idea that led to the creation of the SS Society was born in the minds of Jon Trank and Hayao Itochi.
Jon Trank, 50 years old, is an American citizen. Mr. Trank was a famous DJ from 1999 until 2015 when the Happiness Copyright Act (HCA) was passed on Oct 12, 2015 by an unanimous vote in the United States Senate and signed into law by President Serge Michael Brin on Oct 25, 2015.
The HCA recognizes happiness in all its forms as well as the different, innovative means that can be used to attain it. As such, happiness, its forms and the means to achieve it can be copyrighted, sold or licensed. The HCA thus criminalized the free production and dissemination of happiness and the means to achieve it.
Thanks to the HCA, the US economy has been generating levels of wealth during the last five years that were never witnessed before and the unemployment rate dropped below 1% since 2017.
Jon Trank was one of the most Twitterful opponents of the HCA bill and was outraged when it was enacted. He then sought, without success, to garner public support and fight the HCA in court on anti-constitutional grounds.
Hayao Itochi, 47 years old, was probably born in Tokyo, Japan, to a Japanese mother and a father from unknown origin. Evidence collected by Gongle is unconclusive regarding the connections between Mr. Trank and Mr. Itochi. It is hoped that the mystery surrounding Mr. Itochi will be fully unraveled in Q1 2021 thanks to new technology developed by the Gongle Brain unit and the development of high-speed information exchange links with the Bandu Group.
After his failed attempts to fight the HCA through legal means, Mr. Trank resorted to guerrilla tactics to freely provide happiness to his fellow US citizens through Music, hosting and streaming content from foreign countries. A short while after, the Gongle HCA Enforcement Service profiled Mr. Trank’s modus operandi and successfully blocked access to content shared by Mr. Trank for all US citizens at the request of the US law enforcement authorities and the Happiness for All Alliance.
Mr. Trank then went offline and the first accounts of the existence of the SS Society began to emerge around that time. The connection between Mr. Trank and the SS Society was not clear then.
Using Old World, analog techniques and tools as well as New World digital technology, the SS Society had been successful in providing happiness to many US citizens without a charge through free parties held offline and online as well as free Music streaming at Extremely Fast Internet (EFI) speeds.
According to the FBI, the SS Society was composed of 42 full-time and 322 part-time members from 33 different nationalities. To the exception of Mr. Itochi, all the US-based members were successfully arrested by the FBI while the IUID (Internet Unique IDentifier) of each SS Society member that was not on US soil was destroyed thanks to the Gongle Global Reach Initiative. Without a IUID, no individual can ever access the Internet or use any service or item thus severely limiting their life perspectives.
Mr. Itochi’s whereabouts remain unknown. A manhunt of unseen proportions has been engaged by the FBI with the cooperation of many law enforcement agencies throughout the World. It is hoped that, through their combined efforts and the usage of the Gongle and Bandu technologies at their disposal, Mr. Itochi will be arrested soon.
According to recent estimates by the Happiness For All Alliance, the SS Society has caused approximately $4.2B of lost revenue since August 15, 2017.
Before its dismantlement, the SS Society crime ring was about to stream a new playlist which they prophetically called ‘Death of the Shake Shake Society’.
For a limited time, you can access the full playlist on Gongle YouTude for $40 at the following URL:
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIrURtAURnJ2fKJnR42OS51LuCiDKxF44
CLARIFICATION
Please note that the definition of the word ‘free’ has been revised on Sep 11, 2015 to include anything that is sold for an amount that does not exceed $39.99 per unit.
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Note:
Listen to the companion playlist on Spotify.
Disclaimer:
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Also, all organizations, agencies, technologies and companies appearing in this work are fictitious. The situation depicted in the present fiction essay is the result of the author’s imagination.