“I mean yeah, we talk...”

It’s crazy to me how females during this generation are subject to so much mistrust of males because they have this rep of constantly being unfaithful. As women, we’re always suspicious of a man to be cheating on us or having relations with other females. But I think it’s just as much the female’s fault as it is the male’s. As females, we’ve got to be able to know when to let a guy go and when not to give up on him. We’ve got to stop holding onto a bond that’s not actually there. These #RelationshipGoals on Twitter and Instagram aren’t realistic! The amount of times your boyfriend post about you on social media, makes you his #WCW, or whether he puts your name in his bio or not should not define the status of your relationship.

“We live in a generation of not being in love and not being together, but we sure make it feel like we’re together, ’cause we’re scared to see each other with somebody else — ”

A majority of this “generation” — for lack of a better word, has all these relationship and trust issues because of this talking phase that we’ve gotten ourselves stuck in. We’ll DM the person we’re interested in, get their number, text for a while and arrive at this point where we’re basically dating but there’s no official title established between the two. There are so many issues that come with this concept. We get mad at the other person for things we should care about as if we were dating, when we’re technically allowed to do or act however we choose. We’ve turned dating into talking and instead of going out on dates and letting people know that we’re together, for example, we’ll just FaceTime every night and hang out on occasion. And when someone asks about us, we respond with: “We’re not dating, we’re just talking”, as if we’re afraid of letting people know who we truly like or afraid of commitment. As if dating is a bad thing.

The point of dating used to be for two people to enjoy each other’s company and get to know one another in person. If it didn’t work out, then they wouldn’t go on another date and if it did, they would. After a while, the guy would build up the courage to ask the girl “Will you be my girlfriend?”, making things official. Nowadays there’s this perception that if two people are talking or if they go to the movies together once, they’re a “thing”. But if the two of you were to decide that it wasn’t going to work out, then everyone would begin to form these negative opinions about the both of you as if everything is supposed to be ‘rainbows and unicorns’ after the first date. It’s hard for males and females to be just friends and hang out because of the assumptions people begin to make.

The concept of talking means nothing to me, especially with the way men are treating females today. I will never feel some type of way if a female tries to tell me that her and some dude used to talk or take a guy serious if he asks me if we’re talking or not. Because what does that even mean? I don’t want to speak for all females but it’s very hard for most of us to trust men unless he verbally says “I want to be with you” and his actions prove true. It seems like having hoes and pretending not to care about each other’s feelings is more popular than showing someone how much you care for them — this goes for both males and females.

Now I am just 16 years old and I understand the boys I go to high school with aren’t as mature as they could be. A lot of them still have time to grow which makes it hard to speak on the intentions of their actions because we are all still so young. But I definitely believe boys are still capable of being more respectful and loyal to the girls they want to be with. And I really wish “old school love” was more prevalent today than it was 20 or so years ago. The kind where men showed up to your door with flowers, planned different activities like going out for lunch or mini-golfing, referred to their girl as ‘their boo’, we were ‘honey’s’ not bitches and hoes and simply enjoying each other’s company. Not ‘Netflix and Chill’ where the perception lies that the two of you will end up sleeping with each other. It just seems like everyone’s standards have dropped so low and we jump to conclusions way too fast but at the end of the day people are going to do what they want to do.

And I’m left to wonder, where did the good ones go?