Maybe That’s Why They Call It the Human Race

A Dartmouth Summer

Sandra Aka
Aug 28, 2017 · 5 min read
Shoes: Nike Women’s Metcon 2 Training Shoes, Socks: Nike, Leggings: TJ Maxx | 6:00 am gym time

Most people spend the summer in flip flops, Birkenstocks or barefoot. I spent mine, on the other hand, laced up in my running shoes. I was running in a race of self-discovery and truth. This was not a sprint. This was a marathon. Even though the summer is nearing its finish line, the race must go on.

One of the golden rules of running a sprint is stay in your lane! You must find your own pace and rhythm, ignore the distractions and distractors and run your own race. If you don’t mess with another man’s race, he’ll most likely not mess with yours. I carried this philosophy into my summer routine. I forged my own path, glued my eyes to my hustle and stuck with it.

Shoes: Nike Air Force 1, Shorts: Forever 21, Sweatshirt: Nike Sports Bra: Nike | Dartmouth Caribbean Connections Festivals

“I have made it not because I have reached but because I am going…” — Sandra Aka

This summer provoked my realization that not all races lead up to finish lines — do they even exist off the track? Maybe races are not about taking (first place) but giving (you’re all). No matter how high or low on the podium your effort lands you on, you must keep running and chasing.

At the beginning of the summer I decided to change my lifestyle which required me to be more intentional about what I fed my body and what I fed my mind. I wanted to live everyday like it was game day — fueling my body for optimal performance, filling my mind with positive affirmations and nurturing my spirituality with the Good News. Consequently, I think I’ve lost a couple of pounds (I don’t weigh myself) but I know for sure that I have gained building blocks of my life back.

Leggings: Nike Pro, Sports Bra: Nike

When I finally crossed the finish line at the end of this 30 day challenge, I asked myself “what now?” Was this the end? Stretched out in front of me was the rest of my life. Was I going to take my running shoes off or add more mileage on them? The quest to self-discovery and self-actualization might be just that — a quest with milestones but no final destination. Maybe I’ll never fully figure myself out since I’m constantly evolving and peeling. Maybe I’ll never be satisfied with my life since I am always on the lookout for the next goal to chase after. How exciting is it to know that our growth has no limit? The world gives us so much room to grow and expand. They are days when I lose ground but that’s okay. Starting lines are not meant to be crossed just once — they will always be welcoming of my bravery to start all over again.

I didn’t want the good ones to catch up to me and I didn’t want the greatest to get away — Sandra Aka

Shoes: Nike Lunar Glide 5, Socks: Nike, Spandex: Kohls, Shirt: ???, Headband: Nike | Track workout with Anita

As a track runner, I began to distance myself from a handful of my parents’ teachings. Especially when it came to the thief of joy — comparison. They urged me to not compare myself to other children and even more so to not compare them with other parents. I began, however, developing the habit of pinning myself against my competitors. The times I ran were meaningful only when ranked against other times and I was only happy if mine ended up in medal positions. When I narrowed my eyes on my name, I could not help but look at the names that appeared above and below mine. Good, great, greatest. I was great. I didn’t want the good ones to catch up to me and I didn’t want the greatest to get away.

More than any other time in my life, this summer, I have compared myself to others. I have tried to measure up to their level of love, strength, selflessness, joy and magic. The clock seems to tic toc at a different speed in the summer — slowly and leisurely — allowing me to see how truly amazing and inspiring my friends are and strangers can be.

“We hold our losses so close but wins so far away as if one was what we deserved and the other came out of luck” — Sandra Aka

Moreover, this summer, I learned to become my biggest cheerleader in times of victory and comforter in hours of defeat. Without teammates and coaches, I thought the responsibility to give myself a high five or pep talk was up to me. The truth is, I have friends with poms for hands and chants for words. Thank you. I have tried to distance myself from my losses while paying attentions to the little wins of everyday. Oftentimes when we lose, we turn ourselves into scapegoats. A sprint can last between 12 seconds to 60 seconds depending on my distance and speed but it can live for hours and even days in my head. Where did I go wrong? Sometimes you can run your best race and still lose. You can run a personal best and still be beaten. I hold my losses so close but wins so far away as if one was what I deserved and the other came out of luck. Can I really be that unlucky that the sum of all my hardwork and perseverance never adds up to something worth celebrating, worth high-fiving myself? In the words of Aja Naomi King, “in order for me to thrive I have to stop believing that the root of my talent is a tree growing in someone else’s yard. As if the fruit it bears doesn’t belong to me.”

Hamilton Strip Beach, NH

Sometimes it is necessary to take off your running shoes — either because they are worn out or because you are. As athletes we develop a strong aversion to taking days off as though progress has to be linear and continuous. Whatever race you embark on know that it is okay to take a break — a water break, a dance break, a beach break. This pursuit is mine. I am not competing against time nor people. This is not a sprint. It is a marathon. I will pace myself. I will find my own rhythm.

Although I quit running track after high school, I am still running — not to win gold medals but to win the most important race: my life.

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