Travelling with Depression

Sabz
Sabz
Aug 31, 2018 · 3 min read

I have been meaning to write this post for months now, but I have always stopped myself, thinking I don’t want to mess it up, but today I’ve decided to bite the bullet because what I’m about to write needs to be read.

Approximately 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year.

That 1 person is my husband. He suffers from depression.

In fact, 12.5% of men in the UK are suffering from one of the common mental health disorders and for him being a male under 35 from a minority ethnic group, makes him a prime statistic.

People from black and minority ethnic groups living in the UK are more likely to be diagnosed with mental health problems.

So where does travelling come into this all? Well, it just so happens, when you’re on the road, depression is travelling right there with you, bags packed and all. We tried to leave him in an epic ‘Home Alone’ kind of way, but the ugly thing would rear his head once in a while.

And though I don’t want to make this post about me, essentially, I’m putting the spotlight on those who are in a relationship (platonic or romantic) with someone living with depression. Because when the tough gets going, you’ll realise Google can’t help you here… trust me when I say, there are hardly any results online on how to help (and cope) with someone who is in a state of lowness.

If anyone had studied Hamlet in school; Shakespeare had summed it up perfectly when he wrote ‘something is rotten in the state of Denmark’ and for us, Denmark is where it went down.

Møn, Denmark

Fighting the cold, sharp weather with the blistering icicles of our marriage was challenging, but the worst part of it was having to work together in those conditions. No amount of layering could protect you from the blistering wounds of words and piercing throbbing silences.

See what I’ve learnt about depression is that you can’t shelve it as an emotion, it’s not like being upset with someone and can’t be seen as a coherent string of emotions. It’s like a pen leakage in your white crisp shirt pocket. It just takes over. There is no compartmentalising, no reasoning with it, it just spills out. It will come and go, as it pleases and as a spouse or family member that can be difficult to understand…because there is just no forewarning.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t help manage the spillage. Just remember to dab before you go full whack with the washing machine…

…advice I didn’t really take on myself because this was is my reality. I was the demanding party desperately trying to find a rationality to something that cannot be boxed up and given as a complete answer, which essentially can make the problem worse. And to this day it’s still a learning process. And by no means have I cracked the code just yet, but we’re making headway, sometimes it’s 3 steps forward, 2 steps back…but hey I’ve still got that 1 in the right direction.

If you think you could do with talking to someone about your mental health there are a range of numbers to call upon.


Originally published at ourgallibants.wordpress.com on August 31, 2018.

Sabz

Written by

Sabz

Working in Email Marketing. Passion for writing & food. I tick the following boxes: [Married] [Muslim] [British] [Asian]

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