Light Up The Way

SaBlogs
SaBlogs
Jul 10, 2017 · 3 min read

Dear Sunshine,

As I drown into my own thoughts and my keyboard cries out in agony, I keep thinking about the evening that brought us together. I keep thinking about the time we spent, the memories we made, the happiness we spread. The time when our eyes met and all I could catch was a glimpse of happiness.

I’m emotionally attached to you.

You’re probably way more confused than I am at the moment. You see, in this generation, the word “love” has been used so damn much around that we treat it as if it as an everyday word we can say to anyone and everyone. We took the word for granted and one cannot find the exclusiveness behind the word anymore. That’s why I refrained from saying “I love you” or “I like you”. I felt if I said something else, it’d make more sense to you. To us.

Saying this out loud is probably one of the most scariest and daring activity I’ve done in a while, but hey, you got to express yourself somehow. Saying this out also means that it’ll probably end up as an one sided love, or might be the best thing ever. Depends on you, though. Maybe you’ll understand someday if you’re in my shoes. You don’t have to wear them for a long time, you’ll feel it just be sliding your toes into it.

I’m pretty sure you’ll be asking, ‘Why?”, “Why me?” Well, you seem to be the kind of woman who’s beautiful both inside and out. You seem like you’ll be one of those typical housewives that are great at making baked treats. I try to be funny at times, you know?

You see, our little, stupid conversation means more to me than you can possibly think. The childish and dry things we talk about seems almost like the best conversation I ever have with anyone. The way you pause in the middle of a sentence, the way you portray yourself, and the way you seem to just carry yourself around- I guess I’m attached to that. You see,I’m drawing you into my world, I’m drawing you all the time, but I don’t know when to draw the line, and that’s when I realized that I’m emotionally attached to you.

Worse case scenario, you don’t feel the same way for me. Yes, it’d hurt knowing that you don’t feel butterflies in your stomach when you see me. It’d hurt. But hey, at least I’m honest with myself and my feelings. I can’t be dishonest to my being, you know?

I want to talk to you, have conversation with you, but I don’t want to seem clingy or annoying so I just wait around thinking that if you really miss me or want to talk to me, you’ll find a way. And it’s not easy, you know? Well at least not for me. I try to pretend like things are perfectly normal and try to live on, but the process is excruciating. That’s another reason why I feel like I’m emotionally attached to you.

You got to express yourself somehow. My teachers taught me the language, my parents taught me to be bold, and my friends taught me how to use them together, and still I feel like this is the perfect way to say it out loud. I feel like stupid, confessing letters like this still holds a powerful position in the world of love.

It’s quiet right now, from the place where I’m writing. No rustling and hustling from the automobiles, no crap from anyone, it’s just me, this letter, and thoughts of you.

Before I disappear again into my worldly activities, I just wanted to ask you a question,

Why am I so afraid to lose you when you are not even mine?

Let me know when you have the answer to my question, because I’m simply lost. Until then, thanks for being the brightest star on the darkest night, the brightest sun on the darkest day.

Yours truly,
Sunset.

-Sabab

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