People leave, memories don’t
I’ve always been a firm believer of this topic, and I’ll always be.
What is the most awesome thing we humans can provide to each other? Roses, books, gadgets, accessories? What is that feeling that we get whenever we are with someone, whenever we strike a conversation with someone? What is that feeling we get whenever we trust someone and let our scars be shown to that person, that feeling we get that makes us smile?
But what happens when that feeling fades away? That feeling leaves your spiritual circle?
But you see, although warmth and void are on completely two different continents from one another- they have both something in common. They are both made of a specific material, a specific matter that makes them real.
Within the years of 2011–2016, I have lost some people, I’d say “colors” that I loved. Very dearly, to be honest. The colors that gave me reasons to go on, to flash a smile whenever I try to break down and comfort myself saying that “It’ll just be fine. Just a little more.” Colors that made me feel like I was on top of the world, gave me such adrenaline rush that I often got confused of what should I do with all those excitement.
Recently, I came across something that we humans refer to as a photograph. A very taboo piece of human invention that captures specific moments of the flow of life and keeps it locked up inside a rectangle, for eternity. I looked at it and before I could breathe in again, I got a visit from memories.
It was good to see my old pal once again. She is old now, wrinkles overlapping on her face, grey hair peeking through the side of her ears. She came forward, quickly, yet silently, without me noticing her. She grabbed a chair and took a seat before I could even utter a word.
“It’s been a while, kiddo.”
No matter how old is she right now, I could still see the evergreen smile on her face. Young, beautiful, filled with happiness.
We started talking. I don’t remember what was the opening sentence on my or her part but it felt as if like time stopped. I felt as if time really came to a halt, just because of her. And I wanted that.
We were talking about how stressful our lives were, how the years passed away so quickly before I could even take any conscious steps towards my career, my dreams and goals, how many of my associates moved in and out of my life, and stuff.
We were drinking and we talked about sleep being the best stress reliever. Then she convinced me to reveal the fact that how much I wanted her back in my high school days and how I wish I could have at least seen her naked… And voila, nudes.
Still the funny old gal, still cracks me up.
We stared at each other, for a few seconds. She got up, turned her back against me and said,
“We are all so empty. We are all filled up with so many bags of that slimy sadness that we don’t even know whether we’ll ever be happy or content. Maybe I don’t visit you often these days, but know that I’m here. Know that you’ve a shoulder for you to cry on.”
And she left. But I knew she’d be back soon.