Stop trying to be a Pinterest mum.

Sabrine Elkhodr
Jul 20, 2017 · 3 min read

As I sit here typing, I’m madly fighting away the mama demons hell-bent on convincing me that I’m a terrible mother.

After several months of devoted stay-at-home-motherhood (and some gigs on the side), I’ve decided to work on my medical content company full-time.

That requires childcare for my little munchkin. Which requires me to be away from her. Which has sent my mama-conscience into a terrible tizzy.

It’s not like she hasn’t been to childcare before. In fact, she loves it. Her incessant chatterboxing and love for coordinating other kids into mini-plays of her creation (watch out Hollywood) means that poor ol’ mama is a pretty boring playmate. And all the research in the world shows that going to childcare does not negatively affect kids and may actually make them more responsible adults. So then why the hell do I feel so bad about it?

Why? Pinterest mums. Society. A feeling of misplaced priorities. Decades of social conditioning that has us convinced that mums should be home-bound, kid-focused and not much else.

“Bullshit”, I hear you say. “ Women’s lib, working mums, blah, blah, blah”.

Yeh, we have more options but it doesn’t change the fact that mums are still weighed down by the feeling that they are never good enough. That your kid is being looked after by a stranger while Pinterest mums are sitting at home building cardboard space shuttles, concocting sensory bottles and baking vegan, gluten-free matcha muffins with turmeric f**** icing for their little bundles of joy.

I’ve tried to be a Pinterest mum. So. effing. hard. If you glance through my notebook right now, you’ll find dozens of well-detailed plans of all the cooking, sensory, fine-motor, gross-motor, craft, {insert Montessori keyword here} activities I planned to do with my child. We’ve done maybe 1.5% of them. The rest of the time we’re usually out riding her bike, doing random science experiments (you can take the girl out of science but you can’t take science out of the girl) and balancing it out with episodes of Masha and the Bear when mama needs a goddamned break. And you know what? I’m frankly sick of feeling guilty about it. I’m done. I will never be a Pinterest mum and that is ok.

I will proceed to place my daughter in childcare whilst I work and not feel bad about it. I’ll spend two hours in the evenings fully present with her, appreciating her and loving everything about her instead of ten hours watching the minutes tick by and feeling guilty about not being a present mother anyway.

To all the mums reading this, stop feeling guilty. It’s a waste of precious energy, time and presence. If you have to work (or god forbid, want to), go forth and do it without feeling like the Murderer of Fairy Butterflies. Your kids want the best you that you have to offer. If you’re a Pinterest mum, good for you! That’s amazing and that’s what works for you. But if you’re not, go do what you need to do to feel whole and bring your whole self to your kids when you’re with them.

Anything less is a disservice to you and to them.

)

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade