2019
Last year, I sat writing my end of year reflection in a cosy cafe in Utrecht- it was about -2 degrees outside. I remember reflecting on what an amazing year 2018 was and thinking that there was no way 2019 would surpass it, after all, I didn’t have any crazy plans for the year. This year I sit over a cup of coffee at my grandparents house in Sydney and reflect on how wrong I was. Of course this year I didn’t move to another country or live out of home but in many ways this was both the hardest, most fulfilling and most developmental year of my life.
The year begun with Adam and I deciding to jump out of a plane on a small island off the coast of the Netherlands, we then finished up university in Utrecht and experienced the heart break of saying goodbye to the amazing friends we made overseas. For me, settling back into Sydney wasn’t easy and for a number of weeks I felt somewhat lost in my ‘normal life’. In early March I was lucky enough to start working for Young Change Agents, which has been one of the most incredible places I’ve ever worked. Getting the opportunity to travel, meet interesting people and to teach Social Enterprise (one of my major passions) has been a dream to say the least. I’m planning to put a lot of my energy into the organisation next year because I truly believe in it’s potential. Not overly enjoying my subjects in Semester 1 back at Uni was a blessing in disguise. During one particularly dry economic history lecture Adam and I spontaneously decided to record a podcast episode about exchange, it was more a joke at first, but we really enjoyed making it and hence Humans of Sydney was born. Following the end of first semester I had an amazing experience with Enactus (a society at uni where we make social enterprises), speaking at the national conference. It brought back my love of public speaking and it was awesome preparing with such a cool team.
I’m conscious this is starting to sound like a diary entry so I’ll speed things along a bit. In the second half of the holidays I visited Trangie with Young Change Agents, assisting the facilitation of a workshop. I was astounded by the amount of poverty that existed just under an hour flight away from Sydney, in this small community it hadn’t rained properly in 3 years and many of the children couldn’t afford school uniform. One of my highlights of the year was sending some of these kids (who had never been on an airplane) to Melbourne to share their agriculture technology ideas in front of thousands of people, hopefully showing them how much potential their lives had. Around this time, I lost someone I had grown up with and it ripped me to pieces. As much as I’ve tried to intellectualise his death, I’ve realised that it’s just my coping mechanism, suicide fucking sucks and it’s something I hope no-one ever has to deal with. Mental Health has definitely been somewhat of a theme this year and through interviewing psychologists and friends opening up about their experiences, I’ve definitely learnt some new things. For me personally, the biggest learning was to just listen to people without immediately offering some advice like “why don’t you try meditation”, which can understandably feel extremely invalidating for them.
The next part of the year was probably one of the hardest I’ve pushed myself in my life. I attempted to juggle a Deloitte internship, full-time uni and a body building comp. On the outset it may seem like I managed to go alright however truth be told I was a dick to those close to me.Constantly irritable from lack of hunger, sleep or just sheer exhaustion, I was in no way the person I want to be. Although it was one of the most beneficial experiences of my life, it taught me an important lesson, as much as I love ‘succeeding’ and ‘pushing myself’ I never want to be someone that does it to the detriment of my relationships. I also learnt that although i really enjoy the gym, the narcissism of body building just isn’t for me, I have the upmost respect for people that compete, but personally there’s other things I’d rather put my energy into.
Following the competition and internship it was all about enjoying life again. My brother turned 18, my cousin got married and I had some beautiful moments and probably too many beers with my family and loved ones. Immediately following the conclusion of the semester (where I enjoyed my subjects to a disturbingly large degree), I set off with my family to South America. It was an amazing trip filled with so many unique experiences and memories, my personal favourite was getting a matching tattoo with a stranger but I guess that’s a story for another time. In the past going on long holidays has often made me feel guilty for not ‘working on something’, but on this trip I didn’t get that feeling as much and felt I could be more present in the experience. With only one year left of my university degree, I’ve reached a point where I’ve had all the experiences I’ve wanted out of uni, I’ve done the internships and societies I wanted and almost achieved everything that I wanted to do, which leaves me in a different position going into the new decade. After sitting down and reflecting on what was truly important to me I’ve got somewhat different goals for 2020. They include weekly family meetings aimed at improving my brothers independence, a TED x speech and a big focus on Young Change Agents. This is alongside 30 podcasts, an act of discomfort every 2 weeks and try out at least one month vegetarian.
In 2019 I focused more on the person I wanted to be over the things I wanted to achieve and I think that’s a big reason it was such a crazy year. Until next time my friends!
