Today’s Spoon

I’m Not A “Good Person”

For the longest time I used to pride myself on the fact that I was a good person, in that I would always try to do the right thing even if it meant that I found myself at a loss in doing so.

This led to me being taken advantage of many times, as people then began to feel entitled to my kindness and generosity. This is when I started to realise what it actually means to be a “good person”.

Good people are those that will do anything for others — example: someone is hurt and the good person feels naturally inclined to help them. Some time passes and the person who was hurt feels entitled to the help they received before — the good person carries on helping, even at their own inconvenience.

This kept happening to me along my journey and I didn’t understand why my good nature was being exploited. It was then that I realised I was treating others how I wanted to be treated and they were just using me.

I then turned the focus onto myself and started to help myself as much as I wanted to help other people. This is where the concept of filling your own cup comes into play.

When we’re trying to help others without first helping ourselves we are giving away our precious reserves of water. After helping others there is nothing in the cup for ourselves to drink from — we need to fill our own cup first.

Fill your own cup until it overflows and then you can seek to fill others, until then learn to see that you need to fit your own oxygen mask before helping others.

If this is what makes you a “bad person” in the eyes of others learn to see that they are seeking to exploit your good nature in order to play on your emotions. This is what many manipulators do to get others to comply with their games.

It’s ok to prioritise yourself and you are not an evil person for wanting to be happy and fulfilled in yourself before helping others. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to manipulate you for their own gain.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, fill yours until it overflows.

Peace & positive vibes.