Dear Mom,

I admit that I haven’t tried to think about you lately. When I do, my mind always seems to automatically go back to the time that I last seen you in the hospital. I hate to think about that. You wasn’t your usual self, I’m not even sure you knew I was there holding your hand. I hope you can understand that this isn’t the way I wanted to remember you. I rather think of the times when we use to be weird and silly just for the heck of it. So today for the first time in weeks I thought about you. I forced myself to erase the images I rather not remember. Instead I thought of the time when I was little and you use to lay on the bed and balance me in the air with your feet as if I was flying. I use to love that but of course as I got older I became too heavy for you to do it. I also remember when I use to just cuddle under you and I would rub my nose on your chin like little puppies do. You hated that because it always tickled you but you let me do it anyway because you knew it was what made me fall asleep. But to be honest, even those memories make me sad and frustrated because I know I won’t be able to get those times spent with you back. But you know what I think about the most? The scene from that book “The Shack” when God took the guy to see his father in heaven. He was standing on the mountain looking at crowds of people surrounded by white glows with dancing colorful light beam things shooting from them. There was one person in the crowd that he saw was very excited and when the man asked God who that person was, he told him that it was his father. I liked that part of the story so much. I also imagine that’s how it will be when I finally get to see you in heaven. I”ll be standing around searching for you and I”ll spot out a glow shooting out numerous colorful beams of excitement and so will I because I know that I’m finally reunited with you again. And that thought out of all others is what keeps me content.

I miss you, Love you. See you soon.

-Baby Bear