The strange case of the four letter word

Sadhaana Ramesh
Nov 4 · 3 min read

In the discretion of darkness, I knelt down and stretched out my hands and cried. Cried for help. For years. No one came at my beckoning. Nobody saw the strain in my eyes. Nobody called for caution. Help wasn’t a rescue mission with a torch light in the woods. It was the quaint little owl withering away, unbothered by the struggle. Day in and day out.

. . .

To help is a strange trade. It’s a transaction- these are some of the statements I heard from people recently and this reeled me back to a memory from childhood. When I was a kid, I came across an article, a tip for women. The article was titled- ‘Just Yell Fire’. The article was a take on the case of Kitty Genovese. Murdered in the year 1964, she was attacked by a group of men. She cried for help, but no one reached out to help. Nor, did they call the police. From this tragic incident on, people were given the instruction to yell fire when threatened. It was observed that if one yelled ‘help’, people didn’t act upon it because it wasn’t personal to them- It affected them in no capacity. They just assumed that somebody would take care of the situation (This is called the Bystander Effect). You see, ‘fire’ makes it personal. It makes people fear for their own safety. Thus, making them responsible to inform authorities or take action themselves.

This piece of article stayed with me for a long time and I came to prod over it only recently. I began to wonder- Is to help nothing but an investment that one hopes would provide him/ her with returns? Is to help a transaction which when fails results in a bad relationship? If yes, then does it operate in the free market? Does the concept of demand and supply, apply?

Maybe, it does. Maybe, it secretly lurks in the alleys of a social structure. Maybe…

A while ago, my friend and I were discussing all things worldly. When we got to the topic of social work, she asked me if to help was a selfish act derived from the need to satisfy one’s own self interests and esteem. I remained silent because I couldn’t articulate my words. But, in retrospect I think-

So, what if it’s selfish? The intention is all that matters. An intention that is positive, kind and compassionate. An intention that is meaningful and works in the best interest of all- thus, making it selfless. If this is the way we can live through the suffering- which is life itself, then we must. Like, Jordan Peterson says-

“The pursuit of happiness is a pointless goal. So, pursue what is meaningful”.

Maybe, to help is just to be The invisible Hand. It’s a metaphor for how in a free market, self interested persons function in a system of mutual interdependence. (Through individual self-interest and freedom of production as well as consumption, the best interest of society, as a whole, are fulfilled)Maybe, to help is to simply play the best and meaningful hand on the table that you have privilege and access to- for the sake and well-being of the other.

I agree that help isn’t always free. It comes with a price tag but one can only hope that the price is tagged in love and good faith. So, don’t be the unfazed owl on the tree. If you see signs of distress, all it takes is to carry your light that shines through with you.

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And, guess what? As I make the final touches to this write up, Help! by The Beetles plays on the radio. Coincidence much? I think not.


Thanks to the people who helped me understand the concept of The Invisible Hand. Thanks to everybody who has helped me in every way possible. I am because you are.