Paradoxical Brainwaves

And you just decide to go with the flow; not take any control of the things that are happening around, you just decide to let it be the way it is. You feel emotions that you can’t find labels to. You are confused about what you’re feeling. You just have no idea what’s going on in your head. It’s complicated.

You wish, life and feelings were as simple as you see in the movies. But movies are shit. All they potray is the mainstream feelings- love, hate, anger, disgust and sadness. But what if what you’re feeling right now is none of those or a maybe a “khichadi” of those? What if you just cannot identify those feelings?

You see, you cannot diagnose a disease unless you can explain the symptoms and the situation that you get in sometimes, is quite like this.

You’re confused but you also like the way you are feeling. You want to find the answers to all the bizarre questions that you have in your mind but you’re also glad that you haven’t found them yet. Your mind simply acts like a paradox.

Now when I’m writing this, yes, I am having one of those feelings and if you’re still reading this, then I’m sure you must have been through the same situation as well. And chances are that, you are thinking of those feelings right now.

The sole purpose of writing this is to let others know that they’re not the only ones going through these paradoxical brainwaves. As human beings, we all need someone we can relate to and I only want to let them know that I’m here- a messed up, confused and chaotic being to assure you that you’re not the only one.

Except, if you’re here to look for an answer, unfortunately, I don’t have any answers or solutions to any of those. Like I said, I am here solely to write about them without judging them and without any intentions of finding an answer to them. I’m here only to acknowledge all the kinds of feelings that I have and to make a way towards their acceptance. Because I believe, the first step to any thing is awareness.

Sadiksha “Scarlet” Thapa

Talent Manager| Organizational Psychology enthusiast| Organizational Development| Startups Focused

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