Thoughts on Peer Pressure and what Islam says…
“Bad is Bad, even if everyone is doing it. Good is Good, even if no one is doing it”
Human beings are social creatures. Majority of humans have the desire to be socially accepted, to become popular and relevant in the eyes of people around them. We are mostly influenced by those we follow, those we hang around with and those we look up to.
Peer Pressure has been around since the days of our forefathers. It exists amongst people of all beliefs and different ideologies. There is the Peer Pressure that exists within a neighbourhood, school, workplaces, etc.
It is common in this modern age to follow a trend because everyone is doing it or to get something because everyone has one. Sometimes people don’t care if the trend is good or bad, they just want to conform to what others believe.
An example, a few days ago on Twitter, a lady posted a video of herself acting mentally unstable on the side of the road, the video had thousands of interactions, no one questioned her behaviour until she started posting more versions of the act. It became a trend.
A few days later, videos of other women doing the same thing started popping up on Twitter. This is just a typical example of people doing what other people are doing without putting morality into consideration.
The people you follow, and those you interact with, have a significant effect on your beliefs, values, ideologies and the narratives you subscribed to. Your circle could perceive good to be bad and bad to be good.
If you look around you, there is a clash between your moral values, behaviours, practices with those around you. It could be your neighbourhood, workplace or school. These clashes are inevitable and it is best to respect each other.
As Muslims, to understand why there is always a clash between our moral values, behaviours and practices with those around us, it is important to note where we get our own moral values, behaviours and practices from and where those around you get theirs. Our own moral values, behaviours and practices are from the Almighty through the Qur’an and the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (SAW).
Islam is a complete way of life. It is not just a religion. It has been perfected by the Almighty Allah. The Qur’an is to serve as guidance to all humanity. If we take our right and wrong from the Qur’an and teachings of the Prophet (SAW) we will for sure live a wonderful life.
But if we take our moral values from people around us, without considering what the Qur’an and hadith said, we will live a life pleasing creatures, not the creator. Verily, the creator is all Knowing and enjoins goodness.
The Prophet (SAW), in one Hadith found in Sunan al-Tirmidhī, said: “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” reported by Abu Huraira (R.A).
Your peers could influence you to go out of the way and subscribe to ideologies that have no place in Islam. Your circle, your neighbourhood and the people you follow on the media could push you to go out of the line. To change beliefs, moral values, and practices.
The Quran tells us about peer pressure and gives detailed stories of some Prophets and early believers who suffered from such. But they persevered and held tight to their beliefs and moral values. They ended up triumphing.
Instead of making friends with those who would push us out of the way, we should befriend the righteous but still treat everyone else in a gracious and just manner. The Prophet (SAW) enjoins us to be good to everyone and discourages hate and discrimination.
In another Hadith, Prophet (SAW) said: “The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows (respectively). So as for the seller of musk, then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows, then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.” [Bukhari & Muslim]
To fully grasp the Hadith, let us look at the commentary of this Hadith by Imam an-Nawawi. He said: “The Prophet (SAW) compared a good companion to a seller of musk and spoke of the virtue of having companions who are good, who have noble manners, piety, knowledge and good culture. Such are those who grant us from their virtue. And he (peace be upon him) forbade us to sit with those who do evil, commit a lot of sins and other bad deeds, as well as with innovators, backbiters, and so forth”
Another scholar said: “Keeping good company with the pious results in the attainment of beneficial knowledge, noble manners and righteous actions, whereas keeping company with the wicked prevents all of that”
Indeed, Allah guides whom He wills. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide. We ask Allah for forgiveness and guidance.
Jazakallahu Kayran for Reading. I hope you find this useful and beneficial.
