Happy Belated Birthday Mom, I acknowledge.
My mom and I go way back. Since I’ve been born. I’ve always been a bit different at paving paths (how clichéd!). I mean to say that I’ve not always wanted to choose the most conventional means to achieve a set goal. I mean, I went to school, I am finishing college this year and all that jazz but there has been many distorted moments that have prolonged years on. I have not been tormented by anyone, I’ve been cared for and there have been soft sentiments involved. However, I brought plenty of wraths upon myself. My mother and I had a very strained relationship for years. We spoke, had occasional amicable moments where we both agreed upon something but a lot of times, we created distortions fuzzier than a fuzz pedal. However, two weeks ago, I had one of those frequent meltdowns and decided to call her and it worked. I expressed myself genuinely and we uncovered some very subtle unresolved issues. It was liberating.
Over the years, I learned some valuable life lessons that people are advocating for ‘personal growth’ and ‘productivity hacks’. In all those complaints and advises, these are the wisdoms that I’ve subconsciously followed, though now consciously acknowledged after that conversation two weeks ago.
1) If you want a B, aim for an A- She always advised me to aim higher leaving space to fall short rather than aim for exactly what you need. Very profound-Leave room for errors.
2) Surround yourself with good company- She always suggested that I surround myself with intelligent and not naughty kids. I’ve been fortunate to have a wide array of friends with different personalities. However again, profound and scientifically/psychologically true- You are the product of the 5 people you interact with the most/ You can empathize with a maximum of 150 people.
3) Follow through with your plans, don’t just say things!- She always feared (with reason) that I make so many plans but end up not pulling through even half of them. Lesson- Be accountable to yourself/ Do more, talk less.
4) Eliminating negative energy- This came off quite harshly at the time, but she was not too fond of someone I intimately once associated with. However, it’s true, don’t let people bring you down. Lesson-negative energy brings you down.
5) ‘Belief is a beautiful armor, makes for the heaviest swords’ by John Mayer-She always told me that if I put my mind to it, I can achieve anything and everything. It was very empowering, always. I’ve pulled myself out of very improbable situations many times even at this ripe age of less that 25 years old hah.
6) Attention to Detail- She always said I don’t properly read for school. I skimmed through, I didn’t read minutely and so I missed out on some questions on the quiz, she said. Take the blame, don’t blame the teacher. Hey, profound- be attentive to details, be sincere in your work.
7) She supported freedom in her own way- I’ve always found certain amount of freedom to pursue things parents aren’t quite liberal about in Bangladesh. Lesson- oppression sucks.
End of it all, she always made an attempt to be a friend and a parent. That’s all that matters.