Walking Backward Slowly
“Women and men cannot be friends”, “When a woman smiles and laughs in front of men, she is flirting”, “When a woman looks directly in a man’s eyes while she is talking, she is flirting”, “If a woman leans forward in interest, when a man is talking, she is flirting”, “If a woman looks up, and keeps her head facing down, she is flirting”, “When women and men are together, men cannot concentrate and are less intelligent”. “Women’s equality has gone too far”. “Most women play games and they know the hold they have on men, and are intentionally trying to gain an advantage, monetary or other”, “There is no contact between men and women that is not about sexual flirtation”, “Women do MBA’s to get men”.
The above statements, I have read or seen on television or heard directly in the last five years. The people voicing these views have mainly been white, from North European origin, both male and female and between the age of sixteen and fifty, from a variety of different economic backgrounds.
In the above world view, where is the place for men and women, to put together their ideas and thoughts with others, create something greater then the sum of each individual idea. Surely men and women will need to find a way to discuss, decide, solve, advance, debate etc. What does this mean for the behavior that a woman needs to display, not to be flirting? Or is there just no space for this at all?
At times it is unclear, where progress is.
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The Celebration of the Peace of Münster (1648) by Bart holomeus van der Helst — (The days of gentlemen only)
