A Life Without Time Is No Life at All
Learning to forgive Father Time and find happiness while you’re still under his roof.
Why is everything changing? Whether you’re in the middle of a difficult transition right now, looking forward to something new on the horizon, or wishing that Sam Cooke would stop singing “a change gonna come” because you’d rather things stay exactly as they are, the fact of the matter is that we live within the realm of time. And wherever time rules, change is unavoidable.
We all have different relationships with Time. And probably, if we laid back on a metaphorical sofa and probed our feelings on this deeply enough, we would realize that there are some positive reasons for this as well as some illogical or unhopeful reasons. For example, if you tend to experience throat-tightening angst when you become aware of an impending change, you may have an admirable loyalty for the things and people that currently feature in your daily life, but perhaps you can’t believe that anything different could make you happier or as safe as you currently are. Personally, I love to engage in change. If variety is the spice of life I would choose extra jalapeños. (…….shut up.) But on the other side of the equation, the insatiable hunger in me that craves the “new” sometimes forgets the beauty of what’s right in front of me, and sometimes it takes intentional focus to stay in a place of contentment.
You can figure out for yourself where you are on the love/hate spectrum in regards to change if you want. But… actually… it really doesn’t matter much. Time? You’re in it. Change? Inevitable. Happiness? Well, that’s the real question, isn’t it?…
Sometimes don’t you just wonder at the mental health of Father Time? I do. What a f***ing crackhead! The things he does to us! One of the saddest things we face in life is having to take a step forward knowing that someone we love isn’t coming with us. One of the deepest disappointments we carry is watching the years pass and finding ourselves still stuck in the same behavioural or emotional ruts.
They say time heals. But it hurts too.
But, good God, let’s not gloss over the truth: I create hurt too.
I need time.
How odd are we as humans? I mean if I was outside of time I would never know how to describe humans. One moment we hold the door open for someone and the next we are flipping off the driver that cut us off in traffic. One moment we offer to do the dishes and the next we are throwing the dishes at the wall. One moment we eat quinoa salad and the next we are shovelling down a whole pack of bacon and a litre of eggnog. (Ok, maybe that’s just me.) So contradictory!
Think about it: we NEED second chances. I don’t believe Father Time is a villain in the end—it turns out that Time is a construct to allow us to BECOME. As I heard someone say, “You are not who you are; you are who you are becoming.” And really, isn’t that a gift? That I have full permission to leave behind the habits and failures and negative motivations that feel all too present today?
I suppose this is the time of year when people are thinking about their New Year’s Resolutions. Although I admit that I’m not usually much of a participant in this tradition, I think it’s wonderful that people would allow themselves a clean slate at least once a year. But when March comes and many of us get down on ourselves about our waning follow-through, what then? Well, here’s a thought: why limit yourself to January 1st as your one chance at a clean slate? And on that note: it’s still December! Why wait until January? I’m thankful for time and for change because every moment is a clean slate. Yesterday paves a path for Tomorrow, but Today has every freedom to refuse the smooth asphalt ahead and plot a new course.
2015 will be what you make of it. What you make of it will depend on whether you give yourself permission to be new. And why wouldn’t you? Does punishing yourself for your past failures give any life to anyone in the world? Never. A change is gonna come. Before you step into another moment, take a hold of this one. It’s right in front of you. You are better than you think you are, if you’d let yourself see it. And you will.
To new roads ahead.