Living A Messy Life
Do you feel those? Because me? I do. I feel like I have no use in this world. Like I am always asking wtf is my purpose in this world? Why do I have to suffer from these kind of problems? Why does my family have to be like this? Financially broken, High standards parents but don’t get me wrong, my parents are the best. And i love them so much. And I hate myself with the thought that I am not capable of being their daughter. I am always pain in the ass. I am always a disappointment. Why do I have to be like this? Sometimes I think maybe I have a mental disorder. Maybe I am a psychotic person. ‘Cause I always overthink. And I always feel like this. They say this is just a phase of being a teenager. But crap this isn’t normal. I feel useless. I don’t know how to help my Parents even in just little things. I hate to see them sad just because there are problems that they need to face and I don’t even know what to do to help them and sometime I am the one who cause them problem. I only care for myself. My sister’s right, what I always see is others wrong and not mine and what I always seek is for what I want to see not minding what it will cause to them. I am a worthless creature in this f*cking Universe because I am not the one whom they expect to be. I turned out a mess. A wasted person, weak, suicidal, and has a mental and emotional problem.
Just damn life…