Give the gift of feedback…with Radical Candor
The campus is always buzzing when Kim Scott visits the Stanford GSB campus. I guess this is what happens when one of the world’s feedback experts speaks at the “feedback is a gift” school.
This is the second time that I have seen Kim speak. The first time was when she was a guest at Fern Mandelbaum’s Entrepreneurship and Venture Capital from the Perspective of Women (STRAMGT 340 for you curious GSBers out there). Kim’s talk was incredibly illuminating, particularly as she related her now famous 2x2 matrix with themes around how giving and receiving feedback with radical candor can help you build and manage trust, which in turn inevitably helps you build a strong reputation.
The 2x2
Like most brilliant things in this world, Radical Candor can best be explained with Kim’s 2x2 matrix.
Care Personally
According to Kim, this is the axis that tends to come most naturally to us. Simply put, this is the “give a damn axis.” Many of us grew up with parents who told us, “ if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” As a result, we go into the workplace feeling like we need to be professional. Sadly, for many of us, being professional turns us into walking robots. For Kim, the Care Personally axis is about respect. In a world where so much of the spotlight is being put on culture in the workplace, we all need to be working towards a world where we can bring our whole and true selves to work. That starts with caring for the people we work with.
Challenge Directly
This is Kim’s “willing to piss people off” axis. The nicest thing we can do for the people we work with is to be honest with them, especially when what we have to say isn’t “nice.” In order to preserve your reputation, you will be faced with moments in your career where you will inevitably have to ruffle a few feathers. Do it. But do it with grace.
The Quadrants
The 4 quadrants** that make up the Radical Candor matrix serve as a roadmap to the do’s and dont’s of giving and receiving feedback with radical candor at work. In her book, Kim goes into great detail into each one of these quadrants, with some hilarious anecdotes along the way, but here is the 30 second download:
- Obnoxious Aggression: Front-stabbing. When you criticize someone without taking time to show that you care.
- Manipulative Insincerity: The false apology.When you don’t care enough about someone to challenge them directly. This is all about telling people what we think they want to hear.
- Ruinous Empathy: When you are just trying to say something nice because you are afraid to hurt the other person. This may cause you to withhold truth about their areas for development, which can eventually inhibit their growth.
- Radical Candor: When you provide honest guidance with care, which involves a mix of praise and criticism.
** Kim made the helpful disclaimer that the quadrants are not meant to be personality traits, but rather styles that we all fluctuate between at different points in our careers. The quadrants ARE NOT about putting names in boxes and the matrix is NOT a personality test. For example, although I tend to swim in the ruinous empathy quadrant, I can definitely think of times where I have been manipulatively insincere or obnoxiously aggressive (shout out to all my old colleagues who put up with all versions of me!)
Make it Real
Although the matrix is a fantastic tool to help navigate the crazy world of feedback, Radical Candor is sometimes easier said than done, especially if you are earlier in your career or trying to build a new relationship at work. Kim’s advice to make Radical Candor real when it feels hard, is to start by getting feedback. When you are ready to start giving it, start with praise, and then eventually move on to criticism.
Kim’s talk gave us a wonderful taster for her book, Radical Candor: Be a Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity. I’m in the middle of reading it right now, and it’s giving me invaluable lessons and tactical tips that I hope to use in my future (and still TBD) job. Get it here. Review it here.
Like Kim’s signature orange sweater, I hope we can all get to a brighter and funner work world where we can treat each other with honesty, humility, and humanity, by being Radically Candid.
