Truthfully, I had no desire to attend college and yet I applied to the University of Minnesota last minute. Though the later is because my sister kept pushing for it, but I had not applied to any other colleges. If I were to have been rejected, then I would have certainly been in trouble with my parents. I had no backup plan, but I seemed to be bound by the idea of college. I would apply for the spring term — even if I didn’t really want to.

Obviously I was accepted or else I wouldn’t be in this course. Still, I felt no need to pursue a college education since I’m not passionate about any subjects. My hobby is drawing and playing video games, but I don’t like how the art field works (and drawing — my relationship with art is complicated) and playing video games is different from making one. All my old passions and dreams had been discouraged to the point that I no longer want to do them, so I’m a bit stuck. I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but not knowing what to due is frustrating since the sooner I know, the better.

I like science though, I just like it in general. That doesn’t help much, but it’s a start. Currently, I take a chemistry class and an astronomy seminar in order to test whether I would be interested in those fields. Chemistry is a bit confusing, and not all that enjoyable at the moment. As for the seminar, I do enjoy it a lot, but I don’t know what career I could make from it. I hope to take other science related courses, or individually study it when I find time. The problem is that I don’t want to waste time and money trying to find a path for myself and it goes badly for me. That’s why I want to be careful about this, and truly think things through.

I will focus this project on the development of finding a major and finding my way in college. This will be about my college life, which may include other aspects of my life.

I do wonder if there’s other students like me, in terms of lack of motivation and passion. How did they figure out how to cope with it? Of did they find something that they truly loved? It amazes me that there are a lot of students who do know what they want to major in and are already working to develop their path. A part of me wants to talk to them and question about how they managed to do it, but another part of me wants to discover it on my own. College is a time for freedom, and I want to use this new freedom to find out what I want to do — no teachers telling me what to do. A lot of teachers did have suggestions for me, but I felt like the selection was too broad and did I really want to study that?

This might need more development since I’m not entire sure how to solely base my project off of this, but this is the idea I have so far. This is adventure of discovering my own way in college and hopefully, life. This is my beginning for many things such as college and my future. Decisions I make now will impact my life more than before — which is a scary thought but also makes it that much more important.

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