The Future
So there are times, when .. y’know, you kind of .. sort of.. meet someone.. a girl.. a boy.. a friend.. and your expectation of what a “friend” is supposed to be, changes. You talk.. you hang.. you tell each other stories.. and you build a relationship. All this while.. you are overwhelmed by the presence of this new person in your life. Same stories .. heard countless times.. add more color to your tales.. Same places .. visited countless times.. seem new and interesting.. only because you’re picturing this from the perspective of this new soul.. new eyes.. new experiences.. shared.
innocuously, you give in to the excitement of sharing dreams.. ideas.. and spend countless hours reveling in this new journey..
but
we are not in a woodly allen movie .. this is life.
slowly but surely .. the presence of a new relationship needs to create its own space.. it destabilizes, shakes and shuffles existing ones.. and the persuasion of mind over heart breeds fear.. the fear of change.. the fear of instability.. the fear of letting loose.. the fear of growing.. the fear of happiness..
hours spent talking about meaningless topics now create doubt.. doubt about whether the thoughtless meandering is inconsequential.. doubt about why the existing relationships are drifting apart.. doubt about whether you’ll be a whole person by diving head first.. plunging yourself.. into new depths.. a new person.. who is not sure to stick by your side like you need.. and want.. and you inherently oppose the idea.. revolt against your feelings.. your desires.. to continue.
