My super honest B-day letter to myself.
Grateful to be here and write to you. You being myself but a day older and wiser than you were the day before. I’ve been putting this conversation off, and I really wanted to start thinking about why. Fear, apprehension, worry, nervousness, reluctances, are just a few of the words that come off the top. The reality though when I really talk to myself about it, the reality is that I just wanted to do and think about other things.
I wanted to be active and not think to deeply about having a birthday. Its just a fucking day. People are born every minute, why should I start flapping about myself today. Instead of writing early this morning, I went and burned as much energy as I could working out. I wanted to get my head out of the process as much as I could and succeeded in doing so.
But now. But now I have the opportunity to sit down and just talk about things. I get to listen to you tell me about things that are on your mind. Worries that you are having about finding a job or developing the career and type of life for yourself that you want. I want to talk to you about worries.
I understand that worries can feel real. Worries can take over your mind and turn into fears, which infect our minds and then infect our hearts. It’s fucking crazy, watch out for that shit! It is important to realize that worrying isn’t entirely real, its just something you are doing because you feel like things are going bad when they aren’t. I get it, I understand how that feels because I am you.
Objectively speaking though, I want to tell you that when you feel like worrying, instead of worrying and spending time doing that, make sure that you are doing the right things. Make sure that you are reaching out to the right people, creating touches, putting your fingerprint on things you think are dope and care about. Those things can lead to places and create opportunities. Speaking of creating, make sure that you are creating things often. Creating is who you are and leads to personal fulfillment, thats super important. While your at it, also make sure that you are setting yourself up for success by taking chances. Take a chance on something, don’t question it. Just do it, take the chance and don’t be discouraged if you are rejected. Try to be at peace with yourself, put in the work and don’t look back.
By all means, remain confident in yourself if you do those things. Know that you are so fully capable and are such a beast at anything you want to do. Know that your taste, your style, your opinion, your brain, your whit, your charm, your smile, your voice, your knowledge, your skills are all so valubale. They are valuable gems. Ask yourself instead each and every day you wake up, what can I do today that would be great for my kids? And you don’t have kids, but the point is to act as if you do and think about creating valuable things for them. What can I do today that would be great for my future? What can I do today that would show God in some type of way how appreciative I am of him? How can I prove that to him today? Can I prove it by creating something he would like or by helping someone he would want me to help. Whats the alternative to just forget, give up and or ignore God?
It’s actually possible to try to ignore God. I’ve done it before and honestly just couldn’t hang.
To much of who I am and who I have been raised to be is a man of God. I honestly believe that I have a squad of Gods that walk with me most of the time. My line up is Jesus, Muhammad, Ghandi and Jackie Robinson. That’s the squad, mobbing with me when I need I them. They’re sitting with me right now, and as long as I keep my faith strong, they keep their faith strong. Its when I drop my faith or when I let the light die that they start to fade out and wait for me to speak to them again. I understand how crazy that may seem but it is honestly something I have always felt since being a kid. So who am I to deny that honest feeling. I just have to embrace it. You have to embrace it. Every part of it.