I have spent the last 20 years trying to decide which box to check off when filling out forms.

• Married
• Single
• Divorced

How about none of the above?

Until 2008 when marriage equality sort of happened in California, I was in a committed “domestic partnership” relationship. No box for that! After 2008, I could check off ‘Married’ on my state tax forms but had to check ‘Single’ on my federal tax forms. Fun stuff!

Next question:

Do you have children?

• Yes
• No

I have raised 3 kids but I did not “have” children. If I check ‘Yes’ on the medical forms in the doctors office they will assume I am the biological parent and treat me as a woman who has given birth. If I check ‘No’ they will not understand the cause of my hair loss (STRESS) during the years I was raising 3 teenagers.

Now in 2013 (almost 2014) when checking off the ‘Married’ box, the next question is usually something about my husband…

My life seems to fit better in essay form rather than multiple choice.