How to stay sane while on Facebook.
So a while back, I posted Finding Refuge Away From Facebook. Since then, I’ve read a lot of thought pieces on “how social media is making us narcissistic.” And I’ve had a few revelations myself, which brought me to the conclusion that it isn’t social media that is making us narcissistic.
Rather than social media itself being the epitome of narcissism, it’s human nature. We crave attention, naturally. Fairly obvious to me. But with social media, we started to crave only the positive attention, which led me to my minor breakdown and mild depression. But I’m over that now, and that was all thanks to just simply being honest with myself.
Here’s a post I wrote on my Facebook after I reactivated my account:
Explaining Facebook. Well, no not really. I don’t know. Don’t really think anyone’s going to bother to read this rant but here we go anyway.
After deactivating my Facebook for a while, I learned a few things about the effects that social media has on our self esteem and portrayal. I admittedly kept an all-too professional and “successful” persona on here which I believe was what we call cherry picking. I don’t think I’m obliged to share every aspect of my life on here but I guess if I’m going to I might as well be honest about it. If anyone thought I was some super feminist then tough I’m actually just kind of a whatever feminist loud-mouth who likes to say stupid things sometimes and I’m not trying to be modest.
So I did consider deleting it for a while because after reading a good number of essays about social media and narcissism, it made me rethink my choices. But I’ve had this damn thing since I was eleven and Zuck’s got me tied by the ankles with this thing man it’s like a social contract. Like can you imagine just deleting this shit like it’s impossible.
Also I do get a lot of questions about why I post in English. For that I don’t really have an answer because it just feels comfortable and I know that may sound like conceited or sth but it’s just kind of who I am and if people don’t like it, then again, tough. (*Side note: My first language isn’t English)
So from now on I’m going to try to be as brutally honest with this thing as possible, even if it means that I’d have to share my moments of sadness. And I’m over with the professional resumé type thingy on Facebook I’ve got LinkedIn for that shit.
Although I’m probably not going to be on Facebook for a while since I’m a senior anyways. I turned off the notifs for not just Facebook but all apps it’s actually kinda useful .
This was honestly the first time I posted anything so genuine and vulnerable and despite the nature of it, it actually feels a lot better than posting about, I don’t know, trump. Politics in general, that is.
If anyone read this shit a) wow you must be bored b) you may silently laugh at my status quo.
After writing that, I didn’t go on Facebook to check how many likes I’ve gotten or anything. I don’t even have the app installed on my phone, and for the apps I do, I don’t have the notifications on.
You don’t have to become a narcissist, and you don’t have to live up to this professional persona. You don’t need to create expectations for yourself. Just be yourself — it’s social media, not your resumé. I have another place for being super cool and professional, and that is my LinkedIn profile.
Also, don’t get caught up in this idea that you need to be the same on every platform. I have several social media accounts, and my bios differ for each one. I’m slightly bit more on the professional side on my Medium page compared to my Facebook page. Just like how you adjust to social situations, you can kind of shift what kind of persona you want to have on social media. As long as you are honest with yourself, you are not going to be pressured to live up to something you can’t.
Honesty is the best policy — that’s such a cliché, but I guess there’s a reason why it’s so prominent. I’m not telling you to keep it unfiltered, of course, it’s your life, and you aren’t obliged to share all of it. Sometimes it’s quite liberating not to post anything after doing something. Social media posts do not validate your experience. But when you do post them, make sure you are making a conscious decision and be honest while you are at it.
This era of social media is not easy, to be honest. However, I believe that we can learn to make social media an active component of our lives without having it control our lives.
