THE INTERESTED CHALLENGE!

SALMAN ZULFIQAR
Jul 29, 2017 · 4 min read

A human being always wants to fit in within a group, to be loved, admired and listened but this part of human being is hidden deep under layers of skin and needs to be called by others. Everyone now a day wants to be interesting rather than interested. Everyone is too focused on itself that one forgets to notice others around him. People find pleasure in talking about themselves and not listening to the world around him.

Dale Carnegie is a famous developer of courses like self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. He has repeatedly emphasized on BEING INTERESTED in one his books” How to win friends”. He said

If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm.

What does this phrase actually mean? Does it mean to show people your abilities or listen to them? Do people really need anyone to be interested in them? Let me illustrate this with one of the examples of my life. I have a large friend circle and every friend is special to me. Yesterday I was reading dale Carnegie book and I had a thought that do certain phrases like Hey, what’s up, What’s going on now a days, had really an impact on others? I thought to implement the idea so I picked up my phone and texted my friend and you know what I realized that all this really has great impact on people. They want us to ask them about their day, their routine and life. If you become interested in others that will automatically make you interesting.

Whenever someone is unwell we usually visit him and ask how did it happen? How is he feeling? Have you ever noticed why we do this? We do this so that the person may feel better by having someone to talk with. What makes a two years old child love his parents more than anything? It’s the love and interest of his parents in him that the child shares everything with them. So, the most powerful weapon in the world is to get interest in other fellow beings and ultimately you will have your own part.

LISTEN THE UNSPOKEN WORDS

What is man? What does he want? What are his basic needs of life? What do other people around one require? Can he spend his life by just focusing on himself? No, man is defined as a “SOCIAL ANIMAL”. Through ups and downs, through thick and thin, all he wants is to be listened, understood, and loved. In this mysterious world, where business is everywhere, we cannot fulfill ourselves by our work and wealth only. All we want is to be listened, loved. This is a fundamental element of life. We cannot spend our life by merely expressing ourselves to world.

There are times of utter despair when people want attention, we all want that and it’s a human nature. It is natural. We cannot just spend our life and make relations with our tall talks. Saying with regret there are many people who just focus on making themselves interesting to people. And it does not work this way, relations do not work this way. As Alfred Adler, the famous Viennese psychologist, wrote a book entitled What Life Should Mean to You. In that book, he says:

“It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring”.

After reading this book all I comprehended is that the heart of matter is to root out selfishness and bring into existence the ability to listen, cure and heal. We all want to be loved by people and the royal road is to treat the people in the way you wanted to be treated by others.

“If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm”

We can only make friends if we listen to the unspoken words of them. I define unspoken words as feelings they want to tell somebody, feelings they want to be asked by people when they are stuck in sufferings.

There was a cumbersome period when I felt dejected, depressed. We all face such periods in our life. What I wanted was to be listened by somebody, I wanted to share how I feel. The very day I realized the need of people to be listened. So, I decided to ask people about them, listen to what they want to say but cannot, make them to share with me as this was the thing I wanted in my rough time. This thing works. I can prove by my own example. After reading the book of Dale Carnegie, I felt much enthusiastic to ask my friends about them, only about them. So, I just took my mobile and texted the friend I did not contact for couple of weeks. Alas! I should have bothered why he did not contact me for so much time but that’s a human nature we sometimes are so lost in our life that we don’t bother people. So, I asked him what is he doing, where is he and a lot of such questions but just about him. There was a point where I came to know he did not contact me because he was suffering from some issues. And I felt so bad for him and talked to him for so long to make him pacify. All I did was to listen him. Instead of making myself interesting I made him believe that I was interested in him, interested to listen and yeah, I made myself interesting by being interested in him. No doubt he was pacified because all a human want is to be listened.

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