This is where I was born and this is where I’ll die.

Salma P. Rianti
Jul 10, 2017 · 2 min read

I am a girl with a lot of dreams and one of them is to live abroad. Only for a while, tho. Maybe for 3 or 5 years and that’s it. I’ve never wanted to spend the rest of my life in a country where I don’t belong. No, I refuse to die in a country where I don’t feel at home. When all my friends say they couldn’t wait to graduate uni and leave Indonesia for good, I always want to stay here; in my homeland where I grew up to be who I am right now.

Indonesia may not be the best country in the world, heck, this country is fucked up, overpopulated and everything is polluted but it’s… home. All people my age keep commenting on how messed up this country is and that they couldn’t wait to leave and start a life in a new country but have they ever thought that we have the responsibility to make this country less messed up? If everyone leaves, who’s going to make our country better? Have you ever thought that by leaving, you’re also leaving a mess in this country? Why leave, then? Why don’t we go back here and start to change things?

No, I am not trying to be a nationalist here, because really, I am not. I am so far from being a nationalist. I just feel like I have a responsibility in this country. I was born here, I ate the vegetables planted on this land and I took my first step on this so called rainforest country. I grew up learning Pancasila and trying to understand all the 5 points, I grew up celebrating Independence Day excitedly every year, I grew up wanting to be the president of this fucked up country, how the hell am I supposed to leave? No, there is an invisible attachment between me and this goddamn country. An attachment stronger than what I lead myself to believe.