9 Things I Wish I Had Done Differently in University Years

Salma Sulthanah
Nov 7 · 10 min read

It has been several weeks since I graduated from university and earned a bachelor’s degree. To be frank, I felt happy because it is a university that I’ve been dreaming of since second grade. Though the process was rough, I finally finished it in three years with a highly satisfactory GPA. Upon graduation, I am involved with several projects that I am grateful for. Even so, I look back and realized that I have some regrets about the things I did.

Here are nine things that I wish I had done differently if I could be an 18-year-old again:

1. Decrease the Use of Social Media

It’s not that social media is bad. I believe the tool that supposed to connect us is a double-edged sword. On one side, it helps us connect with people. Social media is able to inform the activities of beloved friends and family who live far away from us. Moreover, it also helps us reach people who we may not able to reach in the real world. Where else can we directly contact high-caliber entrepreneurs, artists, and other experts if not from social media? I honestly benefitted from social media to connect with old friends and reach high school seniors who helped me get into my dream university.

Unfortunately, at the same time, social media also become a place where we feel insecure about the things we do. It is because we see that there are always people who achieve more and live a better life than us. Constantly seeing people’s curated lives makes us question whether our life worth living or not.

If not wise, the use of social media is not only harmful to mental health but also productivity. The time spent scrolling on other people’s highlight reels go wasted and make us forget to achieve important things in life. It is no secret that social media applications like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are built to keep people stay as long as possible. The applications are made to keep people addicted because, in the attention economy, our eyeballs are the currency.

During my university years, I spent on average three hours a day accessing social media applications to keep me distracted from the boring and stressful academic life I was facing. I used Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram altogether. I had been using those applications for nearly ten years and it’s hard to disconnect as I was very addicted.

In 2017, my life was out of control, academic and social life went south, and I was diagnosed with depression by my psychiatrist. I needed to take an antidepressant every night just to fell asleep. Something definitely was not right in my life. Then, I found that one of the reasons is because I spent too much time on social media rather than socializing or studying. At the time, I decided to quit Facebook completely. It was very hard, knowing that I had been using the app for eight years. Once I had successfully deleted the account, there was a strong urge to access the web again as I was automatically typed “face” on my web browser and the address facebook.com came up. At the time, I decided to make an account again just to delete it in the end.

Upon deletion, I thought what if people forget me if I delete the account? What if I cannot see the updates of my friends if I delete the account? There was a fear of missing out that haunted me. Now it has been two years since I withdrawing myself from Facebook and I never looked back since. I realized that hundreds of “friends” I had on Facebook are not truly friends. Sure some were highschool mates who spent good times with me, but time and priorities change. After all, those who are truly friends with me have another platform to contact me. Deleting Facebook helps me filter which friendships I need to maintain and which ones are not. After all, we cannot be friends with everyone and we don’t have to be exposed to our friends’ activities on a daily basis.

My life is clearer and my mind is lighter without Facebook.

But I feel that social media presence is also important for our life to connect with people who live far away from us. That is why I am still using Instagram as most of my friends use it. Twitter also beneficial as there are lots of memes and funny cat videos that make me happy through rough days.

Nevertheless, I also think that my social media activity needs to be regulated as I became a forgetful person who has difficulty focusing on one task. Currently, I am on a social media diet to regain focus and life in the real world. I can say that my life has been better with minimum use of social media applications as I can focus on doing important tasks and notice small beautiful things in life again.

2. Develop a Map of Life

That contains a compass and ways of the things I want to achieve in life. There are so many opportunities in various fields in the university. Debating competitions, business competitions, student exchange, apprenticeships, business creation, youth camps, scholarships, etc.

One thing that I regret during university years is forgetting that as a human, I have a limitation of doing things in terms of time, energy, and money.

Just like any other freshmen, I joined many clubs that interested me starting from debating, entrepreneurship, athletic, even arts and coding club.

I ended up joining too many activities and competitions that went beyond my capabilities. Thus, it made me a mediocre in a lot of things. Had I developed a map of life and list the things I really need to achieve earlier, I wouldn’t spread too thinly.

After all, most students only have three to four years of learning at the university. Balancing academic, social, organization, and work life are really hard given the time is limited. Thus, developing a personalized life map is very important to give a better understanding of what we really want to achieve. In that way, the effort we made is not wasted.

3. Focus on Achieving Our Target

The importance of developing a map of life has already explained on the previous point, but it has no meaning if we don’t thoroughly follow it.

No matter how smart or how high-achieving you are, there are always other friends who are smarter and more ambitious than you. Thus, joining student exchange or international competition just because other friends do it and it looks cool is not a wise decision to do.

Develop a map of life and set the goals. If your goal is to become a Physics lecturer in the future, then focus on publishing paper, become a lecturer assistant, or involve in the lecturer’s project. You don’t have to join the Model United Nations conference or Business Case competitions just because other friends do it. People have different goals in life, therefore the way to achieve those goals should be different.

4. Prioritize Health and Nutrition

Since the beginning until the end of my university years, I have gained 10 kilograms, disturbed sleeping patterns, chaotic mental health, as well as the first experience to be hospitalized due to extreme tiredness.

The stressful academic life and mismanagement of my health were the reasons. That time, I pressured myself to be excellent at academics, organization, and competitions that I was doing. As a result, I forgot to eat and drink healthily, let alone exercising and sleep soundly. I also didn’t have much social support at the time and that deteriorated mental health.

One day, I had a high fever that won’t go down which led me to be hospitalized for 12 days. Deteriorated mental health also led me to visit the psychiatrist bi-weekly for two years.

Had I maintain both mental and physical health, I would not spend a lot of money and time on treatment. Now I have learned my lessons and only do what matters to me and eliminate less important things in life.

If you are a student, please take care of your health by drinking water, eat healthily, consume less sugar, exercise regularly, have enough sleep and have some fun and healthy entertainment with your friends. University can be tough and you need to be healthy to conquer it.

5. Not Chasing Boys

I had a huge crush on my senior in the uni that lasted from freshman to senior year. There were times when I scroll for hours looking for information about his hobbies, current and past activities, his past love life, and even details about his family. Knowing more about him made me realized that we are very similar in many ways. The realization gave me hope that we are meant to be someday as he was the only one that I thought match with my personality.

Wrong.

Now that both of us graduated. He didn’t come to my graduation as I did to him and in the end, we pursue different ways of living. I am not the kind of person who openly approaches the opposite gender so there were no strings attached. There is no way I could be with him forever. Furthermore, after knowing more about his family and his personality, I don’t think I want to be associated with them.

The time finding information about him went wasted. I’ve got my lessons and if I could do things differently, I would use the time to focus on pursuing knowledge and improving skills.

6. Spend More Time with Our Friends and Family

Pursuing education in a different city is a mixed feeling. On one side, I was happy because finally there is time for independence and the chance to do whatever I want without being restricted by anyone. On the other side, I was sad because I need to manage everything alone and live far away from family.

In the first two weeks, I was really happy because there were new friends who are smart and interesting. Although getting into a new environment is a bit challenging for me, I enjoyed a whole different nuance in my life. Then, after six months, there was no day that I pass without crying.

At the university, I was alone from high school and finding social support was really hard. I could manage to conquer harsh things when there are emotionally supportive people, which were my best friends at high school. Unfortunately, they live far away and I was afraid of getting close to new friends because I thought I didn’t measure up.

If I could do it differently, I would just openly introduce myself to people and be friends with them because turned out, everyone had the same insecurity.

In the end, I found great friends who accompanied me through the good times and the bad. Now that we are graduated and separated to pursue a career in different cities. I am back to square one and on my own. I wish I spent more time with my friends because I don’t know when will I meet them again.

In the first year of university, both of my grandmas passed away due to a stroke. It had been years since my grandmas suffered from the disease and it had also been tough years for my family to take care of them. I was crying in the boarding house and went home just to sob and regret the times I didn’t spend with my grandma.

Now that I have learned the lessons. At the end of the day, people have limited time in this world. Say lovely things and be good to those who matter to us because no one knows when will God call them back.

7. Study and Work Wholeheartedly

One of the biggest regrets I have is not working and studying wholeheartedly because our time in university is the golden time to develop our abilities to the fullest. There were competitions that I took for granted and in the end, failed to win it. There were courses that I underestimated and in the end, I got a very bad score for not studying well enough. There were business opportunities that I had not done in a disciplined manner so that I failed to make a profit.

Time has passed. What has happened will not come back again. Lessons have learned and if there is another opportunity to do the same thing in the future, I will do it as maximum as possible with an improved strategy.

8. Learn to Manage Emotions

There were times when emotions overtake rationality in making decision. Accepting mandate in the organization when my agenda is full and my conditions were not healthy, Overthinking and became highly anxious about my capabilities, procrastinating assignments so it didn’t finish on time, etc.

Experiencing those things make me realize that it is very important to manage emotion as it affects our daily performance. Whenever you feel stressful or anxious because there are many things to do, try to lie down for a while and listen to mindfulness and meditation songs on Youtube or Spotify. If you are religious and a Muslim, try to read Qur’an and the meaning, especially verses that cheer us up. Those things have helped me a lot in managing emotions that inhibit my productivity.

9. Invest and Save More

When I was a student, I depended on the money that my parents gave me which is very sufficient for daily needs. Upon graduation, my parents cut the allowance and I have to work to meet daily needs. Therefore, I am compelled to live frugally and save a lot of money.

I was surprised by how much money I could save when my allowance was cut. I regret not saving and investing since the beginning year of university when my parents gave me more money.

Money may not everything but many things need money to get.

Save. Invest. Improve your financial literacy. The best time to invest money is when we are young.

Those are nine things I wish I had done differently in the university years. If you are still a student be wise of your decision as it could affect your future. Learn from many people so that you don’t regret it afterward.

Cheers,

    Salma Sulthanah

    Avid reader who believes pursuit of knowledge should lasts for lifetime. A graduate of School of Business and Management Institut Teknologi Bandung

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