Around 3 months ago, I got laid off. “It’s not you”, they said. “We’re eliminating the position”.
Not a big deal, I know.
I had only been at that job for 8 months.
And it was a toxic and stressful place, so I was mostly relieved to get the pink slip.
But here’s where things get interesting.
I’m 51. And I know what you’re thinking.
That I’m going to go on a rant about ageism and how jobs aren’t lined up for me now that I’ve crossed 50.
Nah. I don’t subscribe to most common myths.
And just for the record, I’ve proved them wrong time and again for myself.
For example, when I first came to Canada 20 years ago, I kept hearing from others that you can’t get a job without Canadian experience.
I never once heard any employer mention my lack of Canadian experience as a disqualifier in any interview. Ever. And believe me, I went on many of them back then.
I also kept hearing that it’s futile to continue the job search close to the December holidays.
I actually ramped up my search because hey, less competition, and ended up having 3 back to back interviews 3 days before Christmas. (and a job offer in the first week of January).
The point I was making…
Anyhow, back to the present and the point I was making. I’m not going on a rant about how the market discriminates against mature professionals.
What I’m going to ‘unrant’ about is that I’m 51, and while jobs may or may not be lined up for someone my age, I’ve realized that I’m not lining up for a job anymore!
Here’s what happened.
After getting laid off, I gave myself a couple of months to decompress and recover.
Because no matter how much we say it doesn’t matter, it does. It’s hard to not take it personally and feel rejected. Our egos are as fragile as empty egg shells and need to be given time to heal.
(Plus I really wanted to catch up on sleep and reading and just productive loafing).
When the dust settled…
I found myself glaring at two realizations:
- I don’t want to go back to a full time job
- I want to make money online
Now granted, some might say that’s a luxurious choice. And it is. But at 51, I think I’ve earned that luxury. Between the severance pay, employment insurance and savings, I’ve bought myself a few months of time to figure out my next step.
Many days I’m frantically exploring ideas and business models and discarding them as fast as they come. The good old ‘shiny object syndrome’!
But there are other days when I remind myself of this quote by Rumi.
“When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain.
From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it.”
Maybe you’re here because that’s exactly the message you needed to hear.
Me? I’m going to take a deep breath and let go.