I looked up to my grandad.

But not for very long.

Look how tall you are, he said. Look how brown you skin is from the sun, he said. Swim with your sun protection shirt — it will strengthen you swimming style.

He died.

I cried a deep wailing sob — my eyes bled tears, my nose bled snot — I was not bleeding and he was peaceful as much as could be when he went.

I realised my head got clear.

And my heart got full.

To cry is to feel the filling of your heart and the crystalline chasm of your mind.

In time it takes less crying, to feel your heart full and clear the crystal chasm of your mind.

In time I realise how happy I am to have had my grandad. And I can love him now so strong.

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