Not Your Typical Conversation on Sexism — Benevolent Sexism
Innovation Revolution Ep. 1 || Hosted by Samaira Mehta
Welcome! Welcome!! First ever blog post for the first-ever podcast episode of Innovation Revolution. If you’re new, we are a podcast that explores the cutting-edge topics that will define our future. Through captivating stories and thought-provoking conversations, we hope to share everything from the latest technological advancements to the most pressing social issues that shape our world — conversations that will expand your mind and inspire your soul. Because we believe the future is not something we wait for, it is something we can shape and actively create, and we are here to show you how.
Today, we’re diving deep into a topic that’s close to my heart: Benevolent Sexism. Before we get into this, let me tell you this isn’t your average conversation about gender bias. We will explore the seemingly positive yet problematic aspects of sexism and not only how it affects young girls like me, but extends to our entire society!
So whether you’re going on your morning run or unwinding after a long day, plug in your earphones and tune in. Trust us, it will be an interesting conversation point, the next time your weird uncle insists on carrying your bags for you, even though your hands are empty and you are perfectly capable of doing it yourself.
Well if you’re still here, here’s the breakdown of this episode.
The sweet cupcake with too much icing
Benevolent Sexism (BS) is just like a cupcake with too much icing. On the surface, it might seem sweet and kind, but upon closer inspection (AKA a bite), it can leave a bitter aftertaste. Similarly, benevolent sexism refers to seemingly positive attitudes and behaviors that, on the surface, appear to support women. However, these expressions of goodwill are often rooted in traditional gender roles and reinforce stereotypical expectations.
The Early Encounters
As a young girl, I was always gifted science or building kits by my parents. At home, I loved them!
While I was excited to explore my passion for science, I soon encountered instances of benevolent sexism. Despite my determination to excel, I found myself assigned to tasks like setup and cleanup while the boys were given the “important” work. These experiences left me hurt, realizing that compliments like being called organized and delicate were, in fact, condescending.
And so while I didn’t go back to hands on science a while from then, when I was 6 my dad introduced me to coding, and I fell in love! But I saw my friends didn’t share the same passion
Oh, you should have seen their faces! They were like, “Coding? Ugh, that sounds boring!”
Little stubborn 6-year-old me wanted things her way. So I created a board game, CoderBunnyz, to teach coding and show my friends how fun it could be. When I saw it changing their minds, I discovered my love for teaching and sharing what I created. I wanted to do it more and more, and my mom suggested I start holding workshops.
At 7, I thought workshops were when you built things at Home Depot (throwback to model airplane) but after getting my definition straight, I approached libraries. Unfortunately, the first four said
“No.”
They were nice about it, though. They said I was just a young girl and should focus on dolls and princesses, and that I shouldn’t stress myself out. But it hurt.
My idea of a young girl was someone who tried new things and followed my heart, but that didn’t match theirs. People were being nice to me, looking out for me, but it hurt so much. I started thinking something was wrong with me.
And even though I felt alone at that moment, deep down I wasn’t. According to a study by Stockton University, around two-thirds of girls are interested in STEM until fourth grade. But things like benevolent sexism become roadblocks as they grow. While I was lucky to find libraries that trusted me to hold workshops and had the constant support of my biggest cheerleaders, my mom and dad, many young girls may not have that.
When compliments start hurting them, and they think something’s wrong with themselves, it leads to scary statistics like only 24% of people in STEM being women. When women aren’t treated equally, we don’t have the same opportunities. But in a world where technology is meant to accommodate society, shouldn’t the people behind it reflect its users? To make a change, we need to start conversations and educate ourselves on how we talk to young girls.
The Role of BenevoLENS:
How do you know what is benevolent sexism or not? There is so much ambiguity how can you know, for sure?
That’s where BenevoLENS 🔍 comes in: BenevoLENS is my Deep Learning powered web platform that helps us understand how benevolent sexism appears in our world. Just enter any sentence from any context, and in less than 7 seconds, with over 96% accuracy, you’ll know whether there’s benevolent sexism. It’s not just for individuals seeking to educate themselves; our application extends to education itself, legislation, workplace dynamics, media, and public discourse. It’s a collective effort to eliminate gender-based biases.
Because not even our most beloved celebrities are immune from falling for BS
Our episode examines instances where even influential figures inadvertently perpetuated benevolent sexism. Instances like former President Barack Obama’s seemingly complimentary yet undermining remark about Kamala Harris and actor Will Smith’s protective behavior towards his wife provide valuable insights into the prevalence and impact of benevolent sexism in society.
Effects on Other Communities:
But how is benevolent sexism detrimental to more than women?
While benevolent sexism may appear to be positive towards women, it often comes with a counterpart that places restrictive expectations on men. For example, the belief that men should always be strong, protective, and provide for women can lead to pressure and stress on men to conform to traditional gender roles. It limits men’s emotional expression and reinforces harmful stereotypes that can negatively impact their mental health, watch out for a whole nother episode on that soon
LGBTQ+ Community: Benevolent sexism is often based on traditional gender roles and heteronormative assumptions. This can create an environment where individuals who identify outside the binary gender norms or are part of the LGBTQ+ community might feel excluded or invalidated. These attitudes can reinforce gender norms and expectations that don’t align with the diverse identities within the LGBTQ+ community..
Does Chivalry Have to End to End Benevolent Sexism?
Not necessarily. There are chivalrous actions that are not rooted in sexism or the belief that women are weaker and need protection. Holding a door open for someone regardless of their gender is an act of common courtesy and respect, not benevolent sexism. Similarly, offering to carry heavy bags or helping someone struggling is an act of kindness and generosity, not benevolent sexism.
The issue with benevolent sexism lies in the underlying beliefs and attitudes that motivate actions, not the specific actions themselves. Chivalrous acts done out of respect and consideration for others, without perpetuating gender-based stereotypes, are not problematic.
The key is to be aware of potential benevolent sexism and consciously avoid perpetuating gender-based stereotypes in our actions and interactions. By fostering a culture of genuine respect and equality, we can put an end to benevolent sexism without giving up on chivalry altogether.
Combat this altogether
In our daily interactions, paying attention to the language we use is crucial. We should avoid making sexist jokes or comments that perpetuate harmful stereotypes. Instead, let’s encourage inclusive language that treats everyone with respect.
One effective method to address benevolent sexism is the STAR system, suggested by Journalist Celeste Headlee. STAR stands for Stop, Tell, Assist, and Restore, and it can be used by both men and women to foster a more equal society.
For example, women, if someone asks you if it’s your “time of the month” or if someone assumes men are bad at household tasks and communicating, use the STAR system. First, S: Stop the conversation by interrupting the comment as soon as it occurs. You can simply say, “What did you just say?” This gives you a moment to think before moving on to T: Tell them that you don’t agree with their comment.
Next, A: Assist them in understanding what you found objectionable in their remark. Explain how such comments can reinforce harmful stereotypes. Finally, R: Restore dignity in them by suggesting that they are well-intentioned people whose comments don’t align with inclusive values. The goal is not to label them as sexist but to call them in and promote understanding.
It’s important to assert yourself and speak up when you feel disrespected or undervalued, but do so in an assertive rather than aggressive manner. Remember, it’s not your responsibility to change someone’s beliefs, but standing up for yourself challenges harmful stereotypes. By taking individual action, we can collectively work towards a more respectful and equal society.
It was the mindset that change starts with individual people that allowed me to keep innovating. Recently, I developed OVision, a deep-learning platform to assist doctors in creating precision medicine plans for ovarian cancer patients. I won first in the state at the California State Science Fair and ranked in the top nationwide at the 3M Young Scientists Challenge. I’m currently working with the ovarian cancer department at UCLA (Go Bruins 🐻!!) to develop it further.
Remember, your words and your stance could go on to impact many people down the line. Change always starts with you.
Till next time. Love, Samaira
