Dear Jen,

I can’t imagine the microscope you are living under. I can begin to imagine how much you hate that your divorce from more than a decade ago is in the news. Again.

We don’t know each other. But if you are like most of the other women, and men, who I know who have been divorced, you’re happy. Like, really happy.

Divorce sucks. But the other side of divorce is awesome. I imagine it is sort of like having kids. You don’t know what it’s like until you’ve done it. (I, like you, don’t have kids. But talking about that is another post.) Having gone through it, I wouldn’t wish divorce on my worst enemy. I also hope it is as quick and painless for people as possible. This is why I really feel for you. You wake up on any given day and your divorce is news. Again.

My guess is that after your divorce you realized how strong you really are, began to realize who you really want to be, and grew into yourself. I did. And this led me to the life I deserve; hopefully, it has led you to yours.

I am sorry his life is messing with your life again. This is their story, not yours. Brad and Jen were over long ago. If I were you, I would have seen the news today and been angry. Here we go again. But don’t be. The only people this reflects upon is them.

Tonight, I toast you. I also hope that you’re left alone to live your life. I hope you, like me, are happy, stronger, and more self-assured. I hope that you can feel and be all of this behind closed doors. This would make me a true believer in karma. Because as I often repeated to myself in the days and weeks after my split, “Karma is a bitch, so you don’t have to be.”

Big hugs,


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