The Truth About Touch
Touch is a human need.
The power of touch is significant, and there are moments in life that remind us of its importance. We recognize its strength as it awakens the senses, aligns the mind-body connection, and brings awareness to the innate human need for touch. Touch is that feeling you don’t know you’re missing until you feel its power in a friend’s touch, a good hug, or when someone you love is resting their head on your shoulder.
Touch ignites connection.
Like, the time on the phone with my college boyfriend. We were arguing, my stomach was in knots, and my best friend was holding my hand tight. Simultaneously, I felt sadness about my soon-to-end relationship, yet full of love for my best friend. She whispered, “hang up the phone.” As I did, she hugged me, and all the tension released from my body.
Just as the presence of safe, positive touch is essential, it’s absence is felt deeply. Once, I googled, “how to hug yourself?” as I cuddled up under my weighted blanket, next to my dog, I wondered, “why isn’t this good enough?”
Touch heals.
I recently met with Chriseda Crow, a human touch facilitator who told me that weighted blankets are pacifiers that don’t release the same oxytocin that skin-to-skin interaction does. Chriseda grew up in a house with lots of hugs and kisses, she and her siblings would cuddle together like a pile of puppies. It wasn’t until she was in a touch-deprived relationship that she realized the toll it had taken on her life.
She was walking down the street one day when she saw a man holding a sign that said, “Free Hugs,” and so she decided, “Why not?” He held her for a long time, in a very platonic, consensual way. After the hug, she felt energized and thought, “I can’t be the only one who feels this way.” She was right. After her experience as a professional cuddler, she realized the need and felt the bravery it takes for someone to be vulnerable and admit they need touch.
Touch leaves an impression in our memories.
This summer, I was thinking of an old friend. We hadn’t spoken in years and being away from social media for months, I wondered what they were up to. So, I googled their name, and the first result that loaded was their obituary.
I sometimes have dreams about them now where we’re not talking, but we hug, or we maintain eye-contact. I had a dream where we were sitting on a park bench, and everything around us was moving in a blur, but we were facing each other, holding eye contact, and nothing needed to be said.
Where words might fail in these moments, where I might overthink what “dream-them” said, touch comforts and lets me know, in one way, or another, they’re okay.
Touch brings us together.
In 2018, the United Kingdom appointed a Minister of Loneliness to mitigate effects like depression, anxiety, and connection deprivation. It’s no secret that finding ways to increase the feeling of human connectedness through safe, positive touch is challenging. There are more single people than ever, and we talk to people behind a screen much more than we do in-person.
Though there are actions we can take in our daily lives to make these changes happen. For example, you can get a massage, experience Reiki, work with a human touch facilitator, participate in a Yomassage session or a Mindful Touch class.
The impact of touch in a community setting is powerful. I recently went to a Yomassage session and left feeling acknowledged and rejuvenated. In the class, I felt safe and comforted by the number of people who showed up to receive touch, just like me. It felt amazing knowing other people are in need of physical connection and take action to get the positive touch they need.
After my Yomassage class, I felt renewed, connected, awake, and as an added bonus I had the best night’s rest of my life.
Touch creates a platform for positivity.
Positive and safe touch brings us together and, most importantly, brings us back to ourselves. After my conversation with Chriseda, and my Yomassage class, I’ve started listening to what my body is telling me. When I have to make a decision, I observe how my body is reacting. Am I smiling? Do I have knots in my stomach? Do I feel excited? Our bodies are powerful tools, and positive touch ignites the critical mind-body connection.
The difference positive, safe touch makes in my life is crucial to my mental and physical health. If you feel like you might be experiencing touch deprivation or loneliness, you’re not alone.
Follow these links to find the difference you’re seeking:
https://yomassage.com/pages/find-a-class
https://www.massagetherapy.com/find/search
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml
https://touch-of-heart.com/
