Yes I Said That
This year was 5K for my little girl, it was fun, it was exciting, it was full of learning, and she found herself more than once excluded or told something wasn’t “right” with something about her by another kid. At first I brushed it off because they are little kids and they say the first thing that comes to their mind and sometimes a group is already playing and an interloper isn’t wanted. Then it kept happening, certain names kept reoccurring, and after a night of watching the play my little one was in and then seeing how some of the same named kids treated her I talked her teacher. The teacher without me even having to say names knew the kids, because other kids besides mine were having the same problem.
So what do you do at that age level? Do you tell them to get even? Do you tell them the old sticks and stones ditty? What do you do? I told her to stop trying to play with the certain kids, and if they asked her to play she wasn’t allowed to play with them. It is a select little group and while they may seem innocent enough on the outside and sweet, the same kids had been involved in the so and so game. You have to do so and so in order to play with them, while it might be something like find four pine cones at this point, it is only a matter of time before so and so turns into something more serious. I don’t want her to get the idea that she has to buy anyone’s friendship by her actions. Which truly isn’t friendship. She spent all year trying to get this group to like her, sadly it didn’t all click that was what she really wanted until she made the same group little trinkets for the end of the year, and had her feelings hurt because the group didn’t want them.
On the ride home from the last day of school she asked me if her smile was creepy, I could hear the concern in my six year old’s voice and it hurt. After reassuring her she has a beautiful smile, I asked her why, and once again the same names came up. So once again I told her to not play with those kids, but her response killed me. She had to play with them because ignoring them or not playing with them would be bullying them, and it would hurt their feelings. I told her to have her next years teacher call me if there was a problem, because yes I said that. Yes, I told my child to not play with a group of kids who has not only teased her, excluded her, and will eventually get her in trouble if they see an opening. I have no problem doing so in order to keep her safe and keep down the negativity in her life. If not playing with others because your mom says not to is bullying, then I guess I am teaching my child bad habits. And I will gladly tell not only the teacher next year, but those same kids’ parents that Yes, I said that.