Days 2, 3 & 4: What’s the point

Alright here’s the deal. Growing up I was never a bad student…but I hated doing my homework..ok so maybe I was a bad student. Here’s why this matters:

Doing a 90 day challenge in itself will be a challenge for me to push myself to continue it everyday. And for anyone else looking to do a challenge like this one here’s what I’d recommend — create a bucket list. Not a general bucket list. But a real one where you can actually have a direction to go, and be accountable to. There’s that saying that if you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up somewhere else and as far as I can tell I’m on track to somewhere else. So here’s the plan:

This post — I’ll recap days 2&3 and set a goal for day 4.

Day 5 — I’ll create the bucket list.

Days 6–90 I’ll cross off every item on that list. I won’t make a list of 90 things cause that’s too extra maybe. But 50 things. Health. Future. Soul.

In that time I’ll be reporting but also letting bits of myself seep through to this blog that I honestly hope no one reads. Before I get into that forget let me recap days 2 & 3. This may seem out of order as I just left you with a cliffhanger about why I hope no one reads this but you know what? It’s MY blog and I’ll do what I want with it.

Day 2 — My goal was to focus on my health. I went to the dentist…had planned on doing other things, finding a doctor out here. Getting to adult on my Ocare. Instead I ended up seeing an old friend and we chatted for about 3–4 hours. After that I FaceTimed another friend for about an hour. I tried a WonderWoman workout. (Honestly I could dedicate a whole nother post to Gal Gadot and her fineness) I made it through the first task on the circuit and almost died so I had to stop. Mad respect to her — I’ll be adding something WonderWoman related to my bucket list I guess. Overall I caught up with old friends. So in that way it was still productive, just not in the way I wanted.

Day 3- So I was indecisive and I couldn’t settle on a goal. But what I did do is take my lovely mama to the airport for her Costa Rica trip, go with my dog to dog training, Watch hours of OITNB and Gypsy. I started drawing again but frankly I realized I’m kind of a slow drawer. Oh and I completed one circuit of that WW workout. Never stop chasing your dreams folks. Promptly was asleep by 10:20 because the true adulthood is showing.

For today the focus is future —

  1. Main Goal: Apply to 3 jobs
  2. Extra goals: full body stretch and another circuit (maybe 2!)

I kind of feel like I’m setting the bar kind of low (except that job hunting and applying takes 5ever) but again 1. It’s my life and my blog. I can lay low before I get my list together. and 2. It’s ok to build up to awesome. Another thing I’ve been doing is just saying yes to whatever comes up. Trips, outings, hanging out with friends — making this chapter an unpredictable adventure. Maybe that’s something else to strive for?

Ok lastly — why I said I hope no one reads this blog. Over the course of my life I’ve had two main battles (ok really it’s more than that but another blog for another time) being present and being seen. Being present meaning — I struggle to live in the moment, be there, listen fully, enjoy the people around me right then. Because of this I miss out on living the life I’m in. I guess writing about it is a way to force myself to be present and remember what’s going on. Now what’s the point of doing this online? Being seen meaning — hiding myself out of fear of judgement. So do I care if anyone actually reads this blog? TBH not really. But it’s the judgement that worries me so the best way to avoid that is to never hit publish. To never speak up. Never say anything. Well, I have a lot to say and it’s worth hearing. So with a deep breath, no matter what I write I’m gonna try and hit publish every day of this challenge and that in itself will be an accomplishment for me.

Maybe through this project I’ll get comfortable with that. 90 Day challenge: Be present. Be seen.

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