As a parent, it’s my fundamental duty to irritate my children with phrases of wisdom, ideally played for them on repeat. This duty is not to be taken lightly for it bears a painful short-term cost: one must be prepared to endure eye rolls, sighs, stomps, door slams, glazed over stares, and — the absolute worst — Napoleon Dynamite worthy sass.

I know; it’s rough. M̶a̶n̶y̶ d̶a̶y̶s̶, Every day, I question my sanity. But in the end, I hold my duty dear because I’m a long game kind of gal.

You see, if I’m lucky, my irritating wisdom will wiggle…

Many “neuro” myths exist about how humans think, feel, learn, and behave. I’ve always been aggravated by them. As a scientist, you must swear a blood oath to shake your fist when things fly in the face of the data. We don’t care if people want to look foolish with their nonsense — this just makes us look smarter — but how dare they dishonor the data.

Yes, myths about our humanness irritated me. Yet, as long as they weren’t the basis of clinical care, I generally labeled them as “do no harm.” But when I moved from research to…

Are you terminally apologetic?

If you’re nodding, “yes” while biting your tongue to avoid apologizing for apologizing, welcome. I know your pain. Not so long ago, I was in your shoes…

To the man texting while walking, oblivious to the world? I’m sorry you rammed me. I’m sorry you knocked me to the dirty, rat metropolis known as the subway platform. I’m sorry I had to choose between avoiding you and falling on the electrified third rail.

To the team in the conference room throwing eye daggers at me? I’m sorry I walked in at my reservation time not knowing…

The crying baby picture is brilliant, thank you very much. Call it my own form of article-relevant mind control. By combining distress and baby face, I’ve created a neurotastic double-whammy for your empathy circuits. A terrified baby would be gold, but it’s oddly difficult to find terrified baby photos. Apparently, most baby photographers aren’t psychopathic.

Regardless, I’ve magically conjured empathy in your mind, but why? A million articles exist on increasing empathy to better lead and live. Why one more?

Because this one isn’t about increasing empathy. This one is for recognizing how empathy skills are not enough.

Right now…

Learn to look. Then be willing to see things differently.

I grew up adoring my grandmother’s touch-me-not plants (𝘮𝘪𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘢 𝘱𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘢). With a gentle swipe of my finger, these delicate creatures would fold their leaves and droop in a way that would impress even the masterfully forlorn and judgy Eeyore. Being able to interact with — to be acknowledged by — the natural world felt magical. I sensed care for my row of potted friends. I sensed connection.

But as most relationships go, our love was complicated. My curiosity and fascination drove me to poke them. To watch them fold and…