I want to Confess | It’s freaking | A story about a Boy
I was a very rational thinker and logical kind of person. Ever since I was a kid, I tried to be polite and kind (cause I’ve never seen my parents with reciprocal behavior and I’ve learned this from them).
Because of that, I kept in a lot of bitter feelings I had for people. I didn’t know why I helped people so much (not bragging on things, just confessing everything) but I’ve always thought that it was my duty to do so. Yet I did not feel any affection towards even my parents or anyone I had ever known.
I’ve kept these feeling prolong with me up to the time when I had to go to another city for further studies. I didn’t know what love was and to me, it was something foreign. I’ve been endorsed and loved by my parents like every other kid but to me, it was an extraordinary love that I didn’t have the capabilities to interpret. It interests me a lot yet I never understood it because I never felt it.
My life lacks passion and I had no dream.
Still, I got good grades and worked hard and was ostentatiously virtuous to everyone, even though I didn’t want to be. But I have not felt any affection towards anyone. I didn’t know why I was a “goody goody kid” and why did I easily forgave people.
and then I fell in love .
I never believed in physical love. I never had crushes on people (But now I do have 😊) and when I fell in love it was someone I had never seen before. Plus, I haven’t felt the desire to see them. I’ve felt that there was no need to be it that way.
I felt something so strange, so genuine that I couldn’t even explain it if I want to and everything else changed for me.
I realized why I was on Earth. I realized that I helped others because I was meant to do that. I’ve found passion within me (But still struggling with dreams), the passion to help someone who doesn’t know or give a fuck about me. That day, I lost an emotion “Anger”. Of course, I felt this when someone miserable did bad to me. I didn’t feel anything, besides the impression that I gave at that time “Empathy”.
I wanted not to waste a single second in doing something that will not help someone. So, here I’m writing these pieces about series of events making up a person’s life.
So I’m doing this just to tell how phenomenal love is and It is not about finding someone cute and having a crush on them. Crushes are temporary and they end. Love is eternal and it is something we all find in some points in our lives. We just have to believe.
and one last thing to end this revelation of past.

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