PinnedCHAOS HAS NO MASTER: An essay about addiction, recovery, and tragedyUp until I was fourteen or fifteen, I’d never wanted to and had never tried drugs. …Drugs9 min readDrugs9 min read
Dec 25, 2022EMPLOYEE OF THE YEARAUTHOR’S NOTE: This is the third chapter of my autobiography that I never finished. If it’s good please let me know so I can finish it or move on. I had just turned twenty-three and, in my distorted, garbage mind, things couldn’t have been better. I had everything a proper…Biology11 min readBiology11 min read
Dec 17, 2022My American DreamGrowing up, I think every American my age (40-years-young!), was sold the same bill of goods: “If you work hard, you’ll get a house with a white picket fence.” Roll up your sleeves, pull those bootstraps, early is on-time, on-time is late, and late is unacceptable. I don’t have a…Finacial Problems5 min readFinacial Problems5 min read
Feb 8, 2022Failing to Succeed.Tomorrow, Febuary 8th, 2022 marks one year since I last abused substances. This is both a huge deal and just another fucking day. Duality is a breeding ground for happiness (and those tiny ponies!). About a year and a half ago I was smoking so much pot that my dealer…Recovery6 min readRecovery6 min read
Dec 30, 2019Fuck Resolutions. Embrace Intentions. Push 2019 Out of a Moving Car.I have never made New Year’s resolutions. Mostly because I’m too lazy but also because I feel they set you up to fail. You say “I’m going to go to they gym every day!”, “I’m done eating meat forever!”, or “I will become the world’s sexiest hot air balloon captain.” …Life Lessons6 min readLife Lessons6 min read
Published inHumungus·Nov 14, 2019Member-onlyLife Of The Living DeadAddiction is as close as I will ever come to turning into a zombie — I am an addict. Once I put drugs or alcohol into my body, the chemical composite of who I am begins to change. Addiction doesn’t just take on a life of its own, it takes my life. …Addiction6 min readAddiction6 min read
Oct 25, 2019SOBER: The 3rd Time Is The Charm/I Want To Die/Let’s All Podcast, Baby!October 30th would have been two years sober for me. …Mental Health5 min readMental Health5 min read
Oct 30, 2018One Year SoberToday, I have been completely sober for 365 days. IN A ROW. It is nothing short of a miracle. This is my fifth attempt at writing down my thoughts and feelings about the last year. I want to be insightful and clever to the point of strangers wanting to have…Life Lessons7 min readLife Lessons7 min read
Oct 28, 2018Fear Will Be the Death of us AllAfter every mass shooting, when the straight, white man who assaults all of us while killing some, “magically” gets taken into custody, while black people are shot to death for having the gall to go to their own apartment, I look into their eyes and see the same thing: total…Racism5 min readRacism5 min read
Sep 7, 2018I Am Part of the Resistance at TGIFriday’sTGIFriday’s is facing the biggest test of its long and illustrious existence. The penultimate crisis that has been decades in the making. I’m not just talking about the health inspector shutting us down after finding half a ton of raw hamburger meat in the dumpster out back or the fact…Food4 min readFood4 min read
