The Board

I understand that college is light years away but I can help but feel the anxiety. College never seemed like an option to me, I was raised with the idea that if I work hard and earn my place then I will succeed. Of course, as a child growing up I had dreams and those dreams are still alive, hell, I still want to go to UCLA but I’m afraid I’m going to have to let 7 year old me down. Growing up and having cousins and sisters go to USC, Northwestern, UCSD, UCSC, CSUN, or DePaul was like a pipe dream to me. I never thought it was possible. Then for them become doctors, journalists, OR EVEN PEOPLE WHO GET JOB OFFERS FROM FUCKING NASA SCARES THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ME.

I think it is such bullshit when people tell me to be college ready as if I wasn’t scared about from such a young age already. I want to prosper as a student but not at the cost of my mental health. Did you know that during finals week in some universities they lock the doors that give access to the roof? They do this so then students don’t feel the sudden urge to jump off and kill themselves due to the stress. Think about that…

Everyday I pass by that blue board where you see each senior smiling with the biggest grin on their face along with the school(s) they got into. I want to be on that board wearing the fattest fucking grin with the school of my choice on there…

I’m nervous as hell but I need to be a sliver of the person that 7 year old me though she was going to be.

Like what you read? Give sam a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.