The Experiment is Over
I started this blog with a few goals in mind:
- Post consistently, once a week, and therefore write regularly
- Get my writing to an audience who doesn’t know me and see how it’s perceived
- Find people who care about what I care about and build a community
The first fizzled out flat like warm soda. The second and third never happened, discouraging the first.
It’s hard to write for an audience and receive no feedback. I feel I would have been better off putting it in my journal than online.
Of course, I neglected the people I could have received the most feedback from. My family. My friends.
I thought leaving my community was the answer to finding community — instead, I found no one.
It’s a bit like the Prodigal Son. I left home to live as I saw fit, and when my funds ran out all I had left was pig slop. Perhaps if I’d have stayed put, I would have found a better use for what I had been given instead of squandering it.
So I’m headed back home, where my roots are established.
You’re welcome to come.
I’ll be here for the time being.
Hasta la vista.
I admit I was scared. I didn’t know if what I said would be accepted by the people I love. I didn’t know if I could articulate what I felt. I didn’t know if I had the courage to actually say what I want to say.
I still don’t know. I’m still scared. But I’m also tired of being scared. My lack of vulnerability isn’t helping anyone. And no one can hear or read my thoughts if I don’t share them.
