Suffocation

Some of these days are downright suffocating. I’m not asked how I’m doing. How I’m feeling. Perhaps because emotions simply flow out of me like an untamed river. Some of these days I lie down and doubt my decisions. But I also know I’m the one responsible and I need to own up to the mess (if any) I’ve brought upon myself. Some of these days I blow my mind thinking why did I crave forwhat I have now. These statements remain as bewildered thoughts, unanswered questions and unknown reasons that sabotage the best in me.

Everyday I seem to be losing a part of me. Consuming a part of my originality. Where are these pieces of me going away? Is someone taking them from me? Or am I letting them free? Because if they are of not good to me, they could just float in the universe and become of use to someone else. Another soul could probably take the best of me for the greater good of the world.

But something in me makes me grab myself back together. How can I give up so easily? How can I let the forces work against me while I’m so young? This is my time. This is my life, my world, my universe. Why do I feel so enchained?

Thoughts of love,

Nothing more,

Words so harsh,

And life so strange.

Flowing in me,

Is a sea of feelings,

Happy, sad, anger and fury,

Altogether, they are killing.

A sensitive soul,

Who doesn’t need much,

A little comfort,

And some peace.

Disturbed within,

Is a little child,

Confused he is,

Of what may come.

Bravery he showed,

And fought it all,

Stood against those,

Who were the best of all.

Is this regret?

Or a temporary state?

Unanswered are questions,

In every way.

What’s the problem?

I don’t know.

Or do I want,

To be alone?

Is there an issue,

Within me?

Do I force myself,

To not be happy?

But why would I,

Be so foolish?

I think I’m wiser,

Than most of them.

But then my thoughts take me over, climbs the mount of idiocy. A place where I lose control and my mind roams freely.

It’s an endless cycle, I can’t control.

It’s an endless puzzle, I can’t solve.

It’s an endless road that has no end.

It’s an endless time, I’m stuck in.