I want some (im)peach me pie!

I am craving for (im)peach me pie.

Seriously, all I can think of is a peach pie lately. Yes, it is a pumpkin pie season, and it seems almost sacrilegious to think of anything but pumpkins. But I can’t think of pumpkins. With the talk of the impeachment in the air, all I want is a peach pie.

Sadly, Colorado peaches have disappeared from the isles of the grocery store. And all I can see are pumpkins everywhere. Stores, homes, gardens, and I feel forced to think of Donald Trump. The orange man. Even my fall is tainted these days. It makes me sad. So, here is my recipe for an (im)peach me pie to cheer my sullen heart. And share it with someone, you love to hate.

Ingredients:

• 3 cups of narcissistic flour
• One stick of Lindsey Graham butter
• 1 cup of Pence’s Holy Water
• Zest of Ruthlessness
• Knead the dough with petulance

For the filling:

• Only use Russian and Ukrainian peaches
• Crush some Kurdish granulated sugar
• Three drops of Turkish vanilla
• Any amount of Nunez nutmeg

Boil the filling over a hot plate using Kushner coals. It may kill journalists but not your peach filling…